Hello. I has been two and a half months since my last blog. I apologize for any loyal readers out there. But like I have said in the past, my post frequency depends on mood. And I guess there's something good about antidepressants...
When we last left Stef, she was having nightmares about work. Nothing's changed. Same old, same old nightmares. She was also told she might have a brain tumor. Turns out, not so much, but might as well have been one.
I have several bulging discs pinching nerves in my neck on the right side, hence the face-numbing and pain. Unfortunately Aetna might be the worst insurance in the history of the world and they don't cover ANYTHING, so I can't pay for my physical therapy or medicine or doctor's visits or, well, anything. Basically I have to live with the pain until something happens with the shit-show of a health care system the US has or I die. I fear dying will come first.
I had a nightmare that the Christmas music playlist at work got stuck and we had to listen to it forever. And ever. And ever. And ever.
Today is one of those days where I wake up and think, "Is this really my life? Am I really nearly 26 years old, wearing fuzzy pajama pants in my dad's house, waking up at 5:45 am to go to work for a 13.5 hour shift at my horrid retail job because I'm a 'trooper?' Did my NYE really involve three fights because of someone who wasn't even invited and decided to ruin it for everyone present? Was I really mopping the Kahlua off the floor with a towel for 45 minutes? Is there really three feet of snow on my car that I have to go brush off before I attempt to trek to work? Is the Dragon Lady really going to continue to make my life awful until I lose it?"
Yes. Yes it is really my life.