Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Another Day, Another Nightmare!

Ok, so this kind of tells me a lot about my waking life. So, so much about me.

It starts out that I'm doing truck at work. (For those of you lucky enough to avoid retail, it means I was putting things away that came in on our delivery.) And, as I do in real life, I had sorted everything, and while I was away on break, someone came and mixed all my organization together. (This also usually occurs in real life...) And then one employee (who doesn't work there in real life) took some of the things and just kinda...dumped all the shit into aisles and my boss, we'll call her DL (short for Dragon Lady, duh) blamed me for it so I went into the side stock room so I could cry. From behind me Melissa & Dawn are like, "Um, is she okay? I think she's going to start crying?" And I gave them a thumbs up, went into the room, and lay in the fetal position in the corner.

The store was really busy, but Dawn came in and tried to say something to me, but DL came in and was like "Get back out there and help people" so she said "I'll be right back, promise," and I pretended to be looking for something. Then I became very cold and tried to curl up so I would be warmer. At this point, two more employees (names withheld to protect the evil, but both female) came in and started fighting about something. They lay down, spooning, in the other corner on some pillows, so I crawled over and tried to keep warm because I was SO cold. And one of them started...for lack of a better word, molesting me. And I couldn't get her to stop no matter what I did and she just kept violating me until I crawled back in the other corner and Dawn came back, so the other two left.

I don't remember what she said, or if she said anything, but I know whatever she did, gave me enough strength to go back to the rest of the store. I found my cart of truck to be nearly empty, so I tried to move it out of the way so no one would trip. This sounds stupid, but so are people, and apparently they really do trip over these things...On my way to do so, I had to stop so another coworker could get through, and because I stopped, a male customer came up and asked me for help. He asked me for something, which was way in the back and he followed me to the back of the store, and I tried to get him to not come into the back room with me, but he came through the doors with me anyway. I tried to get him to only walk next to me so he wouldn't do anything strange, and we were making jokes about stuff. Finally, I got to storage room 21 (btw, there are no storage rooms in my work place...wtf). He followed me in, pushed me into a bathroom and tied me to the toilet. Apparently he knocked me out.

When I awoke (in the dream), Dawn was untying me and the doctor was going over all my injuries sustained from the numerous times I was raped. Like a broken piece of my spine, and some head injuries and I think my hand was broken. Dawn told me that the DL wouldn't let anyone look for me because she thought I was just really busy helping customers and everyone else should make that their main focus. Then we were driving to the hospital and one of them handed me a book that was called something stupid like "Mercedes is Goods." And I realized that it was a novel about some girl who gets kidnapped at work and beaten and raped and that it was me. But even while sitting in the cop car, I can't tell if the book was written about me, like, he wrote it after he did all those things, and the ending was being written as the cops drove me away...or if he had read the book and then did all those things to me because of it.

And for some reason, I knew this...apparently the trauma made Mercedes regress and she couldn't really use correct grammar or speak like an adult anymore. Hence the title of the book.

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