Sunday, April 17, 2011

Dreaming About Bears Again

I'm telling ya, if Tim Kasser ever needs a case study for nightmares, he needs to look no further than me.

I don't get it. I always dream about bears and they are always angry - usually trying to break into whatever type of building I'm in. Last night was no different.

I was on a camping trip with some friends (I have no idea who these people were, seriously...) and I don't know what happened, but there was a toad stuck in a box on the shelf, so I let it out. And when I moved the box, there was also a bear cub trapped back there. Well, he crawled out and after some serious oohing and awwing about how adorable he was, we let him out and he frolicked back into the woods. Cut to a few minutes later when an angry ibex jumps through the window and starts ramming everything and everyone he can find. Personally, I hid on the top of the clock because everyone knows, ibexes are bad at climbing...(what?) It finally got its horns stuck in the couch and they ripped out and then I guess it gave up cause it left.

We thought the excitement was over, but dreams are never as such. A very large angry bear comes at us, and unlike the rude ibex, uses the door instead of the window. We reason with her, insisting that we no longer have her baby and that she must seriously consider going into the woods to find him. She agrees and after breaking several doors, runs off looking for baby. Meanwhile, another angry bear has made its way into our dwelling. While one of my roommates is doing whatever in his room, the bear tries to break down his door. A fight/argument ensues and the bear ends up falling down the flight of stairs we magically now have and lies dead at the foot of them.

At this point, we are like "screw this noise" and start packing up our stuff. Two of the people camping with us, Julie & girl2, have disappeared. We assume they were eaten by one of the bears. (We assumed they were eaten. Not ran away from the ridiculous animal attacks, but eaten...) Anyway, Bear1 returns as one guy is packing. I'm holding the door shut while the bear screams at us about how we lied and stole her son and, "How would YOU feel if I took your precious two month old baby and threw him into the woods to fend for himself???" I finally grabbed this monstrosity of a black bear and threw her down the stairs as well. Well, during our scuttle, we went up another flight, and so she actually fell down two sets and we both look over her as blood pours out from her head.

This is when I realize I have been watching a movie, starring me. Like, a voice over starts and shows some policemen investigating the murder of two bears and an ibex, while me and this guy hop on a train to Yellowstone...which is where we'll pick up some unsuspecting travelers...And our cover story is that Julie & girl2 disappeared one night and so we left early and we have no idea how all the bodies ended up in the cabin...If they ever catch us.

Now playing: Carrie Underwood - Just A Dream
via FoxyTunes

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