Monday, March 28, 2011

Moral: Bored & Unhappy

I keep opening different folders on my computer. And new tabs in Firefox. But I can't come up with anything to do. I look at all the games I could be playing and all the things I could be reading and even all the pictures I could be looking at and I get bored .2 seconds into it.

Then I think about all the things I want to be doing and wonder why I'm not even though it's incredibly obvious why I'm not doing those things: drinking heavily, snorting cocaine (although I've never done this, so I don't know if I really want to but it sounds fun), punching walls, crying into a pillow, crying in a corner, crying in my car, ramming my car into a tree repeatedly, watching movies about people who lose loved ones, cutting my eyeballs slowly with razors, acquiring an addiction to something like soft-core porn or cutting, watching music videos about suicide, or anything equally as depressing as all the aforementioned things.

What I really want to be doing is talking to someone. Not anyone, but a specific someone. But I can't because I would feel guilty and shitty about it. So I'll wait for her to come to me and tell me that it's ok to talk. It's like an airplane landing; you have to wait for the go ahead. That's all I'm waiting for...

Now playing: The Postal Service - Sleeping In
via FoxyTunes

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