Sunday, February 13, 2011

Things I've Learned in 2011

(About myself)

1. I thought I had a very good knowledge of the music out there (not current pop, cause that pretty much sucks), but after spending a good deal of time in the bars, there is soooo much I never knew existed. And some is actually good. (Kings of Leon for example.)

2. I am so truly, madly, deeply in love (Savage Garden anyone?) that it sort of disgusts me. Especially since I can't tell people about it. Especially since I'm so afraid of judgment and alienation that I don't want to tell that person. *I really hate Valentine's Day, and no this is not because I have always been single. I honestly have always thought of it as a consumeristic thing. And even as a child, I wondered why you needed a special day to tell someone you love them. Regardless, this year, I really wish he was the kind of person who would, at the least, say the phrase "Happy Valentine's Day." A part of me thinks "There is still time," while the other 98% thinks "It's not going to happen. Just accept it."

3. I really like my job. The only problem is, I can not admit it. Much like being in love. Because everyone around me (including my bosses!) keeps telling me that I'm too smart to be working there. That I should find something in my "field" and move out of this go-nowhere town. I'm still confused as to what my "field" is. Yes, I have a degree in biology & psychology. But that doesn't mean it's my field. I have practically no experience in either outside of school. And really, what's wrong with spending my life doing planograms and organizing shelves? I LOVE planograms. I just...I don't know how to say, "Please stop telling me that I have to use my degrees to be happy. I am happy for now. I just need a little bit more money in my paycheck so I can live."

4. I get way way way too into sports. Seriously doesn't matter who is playing. As long as it isn't basketball. Yawn. Or hockey. Bleh.

5. I was watching a Golf Tournament the other day and it made me miss my grandpa. I don't know why. The only things I remember about him were that he watched golf and yelled at us all the time for being: too loud, too fast, or too annoying. This was accentuated by his wife being in the hospital...since the last time he was in, he died. But I learned that even though I don't know how to explain why or say it, I do love my family a lot. My cousin asked why do you love grandma, and the only thing I could come up with was "I just do."

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