Thursday, December 30, 2010

Frustration = Pittsburgh

Things I am Sick of Hearing About (in no particular order):

1. The Pittsburgh Penguins - Just because I live in PA, and more importantly close to Pitt, doesn't mean I am a fan. And more importantly I do not care about hockey. I do not care who wins the Stanley Cup. I do not care about Malkin, Crosby, or Fleury... Most importantly (and most annoyingly) I do not want to see "Let's go PENS!" plastered on your facebook status every ten seconds. I enjoy a little bit of football now & then, even some Nascar, maybe MAYBE a soccer game...but I don't understand how fandom gets to the point where EVERY status update includes your dedication to a hockey team. Actual post from my feed: "Congrats to my sister ___ on getting married. Let's go PENS!"

2. Medicare Enrollment - I don't even know how much I would need to go into this one, but...I really cringe everything that god-awful-longer-than-sin commercial comes on. Because it can't just tell you how easy and adjustable Medicare is, NO! it has to have 4 examples from 4 real customers. AND THEN they have to pound into your brain that enrollment ends at midnight on December 31st. I don't even have cable and I've seen this commercial more than I have seen my own father whom I live with in the last week.

3. Going Green - Now, I'm all for recycling and trying to slow down global warming and don't pollute, save water, etc. I am in no way against ANY of that, in fact I love the fact that people want to save polar bears and that they want their grandchildren to be able to breathe, and what not. However, I don't need to see it every 5 feet. Most people don't even know what they are talking about. "Oh, I bought this recycled thing, that must mean I'm green. LOOK HOW GREEN I AM! I ONLY FLUSH WHEN I SHIT. I'M SO GREEN!!! JUST CALL ME THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT!" Blah blah...I get it. Eating meat is awful. Using paper towels is awful. Not using a bus instead of my car is awful. And I know, I should just get a Prius and call it a day. Well, if I had enough money for a Prius, then I wouldn't be sitting here on my blog. I'd be out spending my money. But anyway...yeah. I'm just sick of hearing about it. Do your green shit, but don't spread it all over your facebook. It's like when you do something else you should've just been doing your whole life without having to be told...Do you announce to everyone that you wash your dishes instead of throwing them in a landfill each time they are dirty? No. You don't.

4. The Pittsburgh Steelers (and more specifically their awful QB) - Again, with the proximity thing...BR (the QB) is not the greatest quarterback of all time. He reminds me of Shrek. I don't want to be reminded of his greatness everytime I flip on NFL Sunday. And here is why. He is a terrible athlete. He can't run. He can't pass. He can't do shit. He gets lucky. Tom Brady, now THERE is an athlete. Also...I really dislike the Steelers because everyone around this neck of the woods likes to use the phrase "We did really great last night" or "Woah, we really killed the Bears today!" Did you? Cause when I saw the game, I didn't notice you out on the field. Did I miss that? Were you the one who scored that touchdown? No? Oh...

Hey 2010...Go Away

Things I intend(ed) to do today:
  • empty my garbage can
  • clean off my desk
  • put away laundry that was washed on Dec. 19th
  • make room for a bookshelf to aid in cleaning my desk
  • watch Slumdog Millionaire OR one of the 8 new DVDs I have
Things I have done so far:
  • slept until 11
  • washed a dish
  • removed all the farmville posts from my feed on facebook back to Nov. 29th
  • sent a friend a message on facebook
  • nearly threw up
  • self-pleasuring (hey, why lie at this point?)
  • looked at the garbage & wished for magical powers
It is SOOOO time for 2010 to go away. It was my "I don't really care if I accomplish anything year." I'm ready for my "Let's accomplish everything we want year!"

Monday, December 27, 2010

i think i'm broken

ok but seriously...i just got a cramp in my elbow doing a mundane "everyone does this everyday at least once" activity and it made me realize what being off for 4 days does to a person. and then crawling into bed, i somehow twisted my knee. i don't even know what that says about my overall fitness as a human, but it can't be good.

in other news, i want an addiction. i legit considered heroin the other day, but decided against it...i don't know what, but suggestions on what i should get addicted to are welcome and appreciated. please and thanks!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

If Staples Was A Reality Show:

I think I would be tied for "Fan Favorite" with Mike, especially if the cast members were allowed to vote.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Yeah, I'm That Person

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
Ev'rywhere you go.
Just look at the bags and tags; consumer-ing once again.
With debit cards and credit cards, let's go!
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
Bills at every door.
But the prettiest sight to see, is the violence that will be
Oh, in ev'ry store!

Yep. I'm that person. I know that most kids will never know what Christmas was supposed to be about. All they'll know is that they get presents from lots of people and that it's a time to spend lots of money on things that will soon sit in a corner or a landfill and never be seen again. Happy Holidays! (Oh, and that's another thing...there are more holidays than Christmas around this time, so people need to get off their high-horses and realize it.)

Friday, December 03, 2010

There is something poetically beautiful, yet depressing about seeing a giant black crow sitting in a snow covered tree first thing in the morning. They're always supposed to be bad omens, yet I stand, staring out the backdoor, watching the crow as he watches me. Meeting the gaze of a crow is oddly satisfying, almost a sign of approval. My only regret is not snapping a photograph of the only thing breaking up an entirely white scene of swirling snowflakes before he flew away.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

I never thought that trying to find brownies would be so difficult...But $7 spent, 12 miles driven and ten minutes spent scraping ice off my car...I'll be damned if I didn't get my brownie fix.