Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I literally just spent 2 hours editing all the genres & album names and such on the 174 songs I have managed to transfer from my POS Dell.

My cousin wanted me to post about my epic dream. But I really don't feel like it right now.

I bought a mini-strobe light today. Because it was 40% off. And we are having a party. That is seriously the only reason. Someone coming has epilepsy, so hopefully we keep him away from that.

I've been having some serious emotional issues lately. I would rather not discuss them at this moment. I just felt like I should blog.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Some Points That May Be Of Interest

* Molly is visiting. So far it consisted of eating Perkins food, that made me sick, me going in for a 9 hour shift while she drove around and shopped for stuff in Erie at the mall, and then eating Burger King - which also made me sick.

* That actually made a good transition into: I'm pretty sure I have IBS. Or food poisoning that just. will. not. quit.

* It is FUCKING raining. Yesterday, was 80+ degrees, sunny, know, the perfect day. And today is our zoo day. Yes, the day with scattered thunderstorms all effing afternoon. Too bad, when she wakes up, we are going to Erie and it will be fun. I don't care how wet I get (lol, that's what she said) and then I will go hot-tubbing and get my window fixed. Since it is currently raining into my car. Dear K, please fix my car today. Love S.

* I won safety bingo at work. Seventy. Five. Dollar. Bonus. I am so happy.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

And This Week's Theme Is:


1. I had that surgery on Wednesday.

2. On Thursday (I think?), my computer stopped charging my battery. I had absolutely no contact with the outside world...what the hell? Well, I had to go drop $500 for a new computer, because it was basically the same price to fix the old one. For the third time....not gonna happen, Dell. Sorr about the bag, Dell. Not happening. (seventh bullet point) But, anyway. That happened.

3. You would not even believe what happened with K, even if you had witnessed it. I mean, I did not, but holy shit. I'm going to even go one step further: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I can't divulge details, because that may be illegal, I'm not sure. He didn't do anything illegal...but I will try to sum it up in 5 words or less: fugitive, dog, abandoned, children, wife. In no particular order. Yeah, needless to say, I now know why he didn't answer my phone call or call me back. I now know more about why I will never get married. And I now know more about what makes a good parent. (Versus a completely shitty one.)

4. Speaking of fugitives and abandonment. Apparently someone else from the messed up family that my mother so lovingly brought me into has left the building. So, that's...that.

5. The neighbor took his cows to butcher. This makes me sad, because all that is left is the tiny calf that never comes over to the fence and licks me. The big ones did. I hope they get more before they move. There is also a horse, but it is not as friendly (or stupid?) as the cows were.

The good news, however, is that I have a webcam now. This could also be bad news for my facebook friends, as I have taken a shitton of photos.

Now playing: Sarah McLachlan - Good Enough
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Well, I made it. I lived. After a short dizzy spell and a rocky trip down in the elevator (there was no way three stairwells were going to happen), I made the drive home. Debated getting gas, and decided that I would rather walk the rest of the way home than stand & pump, risked running out. Yup, so now I'm sitting here waiting for my father to return so he can maybe go get my script filled. Cause I don't know if I'll need it, since I'm still all numbed up.

The only bad thing that happened was, brace yourself...a shot in the roof of my mouth. The roof. Of my mouth. Just think about that. Ever bite down on a pretzel too hard? Yeah...PAIN. But it really wasn't that bad, just a little pressure.

Anyway, I'm supposed to just sit around and wait for the bleeding to stop.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

And Then I Caught A Cold

Guess who bought new underwear today?!?!?! The answer is, of course, ME!
I got five new pairs, including one pair of purple ones for K. (We have the same favorite color. = soul mates.) They are a weird texture, but weird in a good way. I am actually excited about this $14 investment.

Throwing a Halloween party the weekend before Halloween. People best show up, because I have spent $24. And that is before most food, candy, costume, and drinks. Mostly I've been buying random shit from the dollar store to decorate. Good thing I am co-hosting with Mandy.

I hate when I run into someone and know that I know them, but can not for the life of me remember who or how. For example, during the fair, someone pointed out someone's wife. And I was like "Oh, I know her. But who is she?" This was in August. Just now, my dad said something about how he was playing around on Facebook and he found her husband. And it obviously had her on there, but obviously without her maiden name. And we scrolled through their friend lists, and I realized I know a lot of the same people as them. AND THEN! I busted out my 2003 yearbook, and found her. All is right with the world. We were in French Club together for probably all three years we were in high school together and...she was one of the hot, pretty, skinny, blond girls. And she landed herself a successful and attractive guy...

And then I got a cold. Sometime around 11 am. While at work. Hence, I stood there blowing my nose from 11-4, trying to avoid looks from customers, rubbing Purell all over my hands & arms. And then my boss told us she thinks she has Hookworm. Don't click that link if you have a weak stomach. You have been warned.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I let myself stop and think about things. This is a bad thing. A very very bad fucking thing.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Guess who didn't call the doctor and can't? That's right me. Why? Because I answer the phone. And am on my way to my first job after working at my second job all morning. Why do I do this? So I can pay for the doctor's visit I'll never get a chance to go to.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Some Stuff

So I apparently blogged this morning at 7:54 am. I think I hit "publish" and then sped out the door to work. And you know, I didn't cry on the way in. I was looking forward to it. Go ahead, take a pause and think about that. And this, my dear reader, is what brings me to "Thoughts I Couldn't Flesh Out Into Full Entries & Why I Am Becoming An Adult: The Double Feature."

  • You wanna know what was wrong with me this morning that led me to ask what was wrong with me? I had just woken up from a 15 minute nap after driving home from spending the night with someone I love, after asking him for financial help with something (something I don't normally do...ever), and not being turned down. Instead I got an apology that he couldn't help me out more. And the thing I need help with, is paying for a doctor because I think there is something wrong with me for reals this time. It is a very personal thing, and unless the results come back cancer or anything remotely as dangerous, this will be the last you hear of it. Assuming my doctor doesn't terrify me into nightmares again...But during some light physical activity he (K, not the doctor) kept asking if I was ok because I looked like I was in pain. (Side note: apparently I look the same when feeling pain and extreme pleasure.) So the combination of being scared of seeing a doctor and knowing that he cares about me led me to feel strange and wonder what was wrong.
  • Nice transition into being an adult...I am going to call a doctor tomorrow. All by myself. And ask if I can have an appointment. Because it has reached a point where I am legitimately afraid of what is happening to me. I have only ever done this once in my life, and that was just a chiropractor. Not even someone you have to strip down and get looked at with.
  • So, when I spend time with K, I usually get really depressed after we are no longer together. Mainly because I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him. (Which I think is different from loving someone, call me crazy if you need.) But this morning, like I said, I didn't cry on my way to work. I didn't cry on my lunch break. I don't know if it was because he was meeting me after work to lend me the money or not. I was very happy to see him in the parking lot when I went out to my car. I was very hesitant to invite him out with Melissa & I, mainly because of things he has told me, but also because I don't want to get too attached. (Hello, I'm attached to the weirdest things, so imagine how I am with people...) And if it was because of that, I think I would've cried when he told me that he doesn't know what the fuck happened with his bank account, and he can not lend me the money until at least Thursday, but really not for two or three weeks. I honestly think it is because in college and high school, you practically see your friends everyday. Literally, every single day. And now that I am not in school, I don't have the luxury of that. I actually have to make my own entertainment (see next bullet point). I digress. I did not fall apart when he turned down a different street than me and went home.
  • I went out to a bar to hear a band tonight. I didn't do it because I thought I would sit at home and be depressed and alone. I didn't do it because I was begged to. I actually did it because I wanted to. I went to a bar the other day to hear a different band; one that I really like. I usually enjoy myself, although sometimes I get tired and am at the mercy of the driver, thus irritable and drunk. I even left a situation that K was in to see them. I just wish he understood why I always want to be with him instead of doing all these other things...but I'm not in college anymore. Sleepovers are rare now, although still as enjoyable. But I guess my entertainment is no longer other people, but the occasional tv show on Hulu and movies that I watch over & over. And I am surprisingly ok with this. At least for now.
I think that's all for now. I am really tired and its only 9:50. This would be the adult world I assume. Going to bed early after working an 8 hour shift...sigh.
Oh my god what the hell is wrong with me?

Friday, September 03, 2010


Dream One:
I was wearing a tank top and a really long strand of Mardi Gras type beads. I mean, really long, like wrapped around my neck 25 times, draped around my shoulders and stuff like that. They were really jingly. Mostly purple, blue & green. I was in the bathroom looking in the regular mirror and then I started doing ballet and twirling everywhere and I twirled over to the shower. Looked in the mirror in the shower, and saw that I was wearing a white mask that only my eyes showed through. And I thought "Oh, so now no one can see my emotions."

Dream Two:
Something about my dad and I needing to pick up a pizza for my family, and there being a really long wait. And then I was in a scene from the tv show Huge. And I don't even know. But it was weird.