Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Raison d'être

You'd think that being awake at 8 am in an attempt to not sleep through my training I would be asleep right now. However, I guess if you thought that, you don't know me. I don't sleep normal hours. I could have to work at 5 am and I would still be up now (at 12:17 am) sitting on facebook waiting for someone to update a status that I can like. Or mock. Cause you know, that's me.

Background info before you continue. Rae & I communicate via gmail all day (when I'm awake) because gchat is blocked at her office sometimes. Ken's wife (separated for 2 years) really did get re-engaged to someone else. And Ken learned this through an obituary.

So I had this dream on like...Saturday night: Rae emailed me one day and it was a link. So I clicked the link and it took me to a news article that my friend Ken had committed suicide. The obituary said that he had left a note explaining that the stress of his wife's announcement of remarriage was too much for him. I literally just at my computer trying to come up with some way to prove that they had the wrong Ken. I went as far as saying that the middle initial was wrong. (I actually have no knowledge of his middle initial in real life.)

Cut to real life: No one has heard from him since Saturday night (prior to me sleeping...cause I was there when someone talked to him on the phone). I know of at least two messages left on his phone. And I guess he just hasn't been stopping by peoples' houses like normal. I'm not saying that my dreams are prophetic or anything, but I know of at least three instances where my dreams did come true. (Four if you count working with office supplies!) On a more serious note...I am legitimately worried. And yes it has everything to do with my newfound emotional attachment to him. Really, he is my raison d'être at the moment and damn it, it sucks.

Emotional attachment like woah@knox.edu. (Complete inside joke...with no one who reads this probably. I don't even remember all the people in on it.)

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Now playing: Regina Spektor - Apres Moi
via FoxyTunes

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