Friday, April 23, 2010

I Need An Analyst

I went to homecoming 2010 and while I was walking through the halls of SMC there was a giant party going on. I got to Tim's office to find him in an Hawaiian shirt, dancing to this very loud music and when he saw me, he hugged me and kissed my forehead. When that was all over, Molly & I went for a walk around the town. I noticed it was getting really cold so we went up to this house, which turned out to be Gail's (a psych professor) house. She was cleaning her carpets so she made us stand in this tiny little kitchen and we asked where her husband and daughter were. She got incredibly sad and told us to look out the window down the street.

While we watched it start snowing and the roads were turning to ice, she told us that we were lucky to not have been here before, as we would be dead. Because in a few minutes, the world would be ending again, and she would have the luck of being one of the select few across the world that didn't die. And instead got to see the whole thing happen everyday. The same thing, every single day for the rest of eternity. Including seeing her husband & daughter die.

While she was talking, the houses down the road were slowly having the power go out one at a time, which, Gail told us, meant that they were now dead. Even though we both knew there was nothing we could do, we started running. I was running through a wheat field reciting a poem about a dog, when I felt myself freeze to the ground.

(The whole time it was if I were watching this as a movie, and not as being in the dream...which is odd, because normally I'm actually in the dream, not just sitting back and watching) So, since I'm just watching this happen to myself...the next day comes, and the next, and the next, and I just keep seeing myself die over and over. Until one day, right before I'm completely dead, I say, "No. No, this is terrible. This can't be right."

As soon as I finish this thought, all the ice melts away, and aside from being slightly shaken up, everyone is fine (in the sense that they are alive). I'm running back through the field and I pass Gail's house, where she is standing with her husband and daughter, smiling. I found Molly and told her to come with me. In my head, I have concocted this plan to run to Tim and tell him that I love him; that I had the biggest sexual attraction to him while I was at Knox, etc.

On the way there, it's windy and raining and everyone is like, dancing in the rain and really excited about it. And I'm just running as fast as I can, and Molly is running behind me. And I stop dead in my tracks when I'm outside this small store. And the rain stops. And the wind stops...and I frown and say, "Well damn it. The rain would've made a perfect setting for that. Keep raining!" But the sun comes out.

I sit down on some steps that go up the side of the store, waiting for Molly to catch up and when she does, she says, "Tim isn't here..." But I can't move. I'm sitting there, staring and waiting for whatever it is that should happen, but I have no idea what it is. Everything around me becomes silent except one person, who has come out of the store and walks up the steps to stand next to me. But I'm staring at the ground because I'm afraid of who it might be. Then I get tapped on the arm with a belt and I look up really surprisedly.

To see K standing with a box of belts he just bought. And he says, "Way to ignore me. I should punish you." And I had to look away, because it was kinda funny and if he's saying that, I probably shouldn't laugh at him. But after a couple seconds I look back and say, "Um, alright."

K: Wait, really?
Me: Uh, yeah sure. Why not?
K: Nah, I couldn't do that.

And he sits down next to me. And puts his arm through mine (so they are like, locked) and starts rubbing the inside of my arm. And Molly is like "Stef, what about..." but I shoo her away. And then we started making out hardcore on the steps of this store.

*I would just like to point out, that this either revealed way too much about fetishes in my life or...makes you think I'm fucked up in the noggin. Either way, I have so many ideas about what this could mean. And I'm pissed that I woke up before knowing where this make out session was headed. Because a stupid-ass bird flew into my window and woke me up.

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