Sunday, April 11, 2010

Fungus Among Us

Sometimes I feel like a mushroom. Because I have to live under a huge pile of shit. Here are the reasons that I am a mushroom right now:

1. I'm so done with trying to do this whole family thing. I don't care if we have an Easter or a Christmas or a fucking birthday party ever again. I don't understand how one group of people can have such FUCKING awful communication skills. "I'll see you Sunday" does not translate into "Unless I cancel for some reason and tell everyone in the family except like 2 people." Well here it is Sunday. I canceled OTHER fucking plans to go to this Post-Easter Easter celebration. I spent three hours buying and stuffing your childrens' eggs. I don't even want to fucking know what your fucking excuse is for fucking canceling. You could've told us. I wouldn't be pissed. Well, as pissed.

2. I try to care about other people's problems. However, every couple weeks/months I get a ton of problems of my own and then don't care about anything else that happens to anyone else. I don't even care if good things happen to you. In fact, that makes things worse, because when good things happen to you & bad things happen to me, I am just reminded that I don't matter in the grand scheme of things. The universe obviously has plans for you and not me.

3. The ending note of 2 brings me to 3. I really enjoy listening to people be told how much better they are than me. And by really enjoy, I mean it in the sense that I would really enjoy being stabbed with a spoon until it broke skin and scooped my heart out. But really, why would someone start a convo in front of me about amazing job prospects for someone with the same degree as me and how amazing this person is, how smart, how promising her future is? IN FRONT OF ME? Oh wait, I forgot. I don't try hard enough. That's why I'm unemployed. It has nothing to do with the lack of jobs or economic distress in the US or the fact that no one wants to hire people with degrees. No. I must be the problem.

4. Speaking of degrees. Going to college may be the most pointless fucking thing on this whole damn planet. Just sayin.

5. I wish that anyone I fell in love with would love me back. Ever. This also ties into #2. Because I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be the last of my friends to find someone to love. If that ever happens. And I hate hearing the "Oh, you'll find someone" spiel, because seriously, don't even bullshit with me. You don't know that. You literally do. not. know.

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Now playing: Her Space Holiday - Meet The Pressure
via FoxyTunes

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