Friday, March 05, 2010

Sic Semper Tyrannis

Yup, you guessed it, I'm in the Old Dominion! Good ol' Virginia. Hanging out in colonial Williamsburg. And by colonial Williamsburg, I mean I have no idea where all this colonial stuff is. Like, it is so not-colonial where I am, that...well it was a fail statement from the start. I digress.

I don't think I have seen a house that wasn't in one of those little suburban developments, including the house I'm staying in, but some of them take it to the extreme. I have two examples of this: the first is a development with a guy sitting in a little booth letting people in; the second is one with a bar that only goes up when you swipe in. Those are taking security to a whole new level. SIDE STORY! My mom lived in Florida for a couple (read: five) years working as a landscaper for a retirement community. She had to swipe in. And I defend this because they had like, a mini country club thing in the center (pool, shuffleboard, a dining area, etc). I would not really want wackies coming in and using my pool. Side story within the side story! There were alligators there. I have pictures cause I visited. And my mom was told to catch one and remove it from the pond. She and some others did. END BOTH SIDE STORIES. But yeah, having a brinks security system is all sweet and shit, but when you need to pay for a guy to sit and let people in/out...crazy.

Why am I here? Well, as some of you faithful readers already know, I'm helping babysit my cousin's toddler (T). I've been referring to him as a baby, but as he can now walk & feed himself, I have to switch. He will become "kid" when he learns how to say more than ball, juice, and cow. But he is so incredibly adorable. He's always smiling, and if he starts getting into his cranky pants, if you look away he'll stop in a timely fashion. It's kind of crazy how smart he is, and what he picks up on. A waitress said "your belly's gonna get full" and he lifted up his shirt and showed everyone at Bob Evan's his belly.

He has this annoying as FUCK toy...His name is Scout. Let me tell you about Scout. First off, if you have never experienced a leapfrog product, you do not understand how annoying these things sound. I don't know how they find the voice for these...Anyway, I'm going to be 24 in roughly three months. I have literally been singing "If you're happy and you know it bark with me" and the song where it spells his name for two days. Regardless of how much I hate this thing, T goes through the paws looking for the right color. He likes the pink one and the green one. He also knows how many times he has to press the button between little sayings or songs to get to the one he wants. This however, also means I get to listen to the same 4 more often cause there are less to go through. But mostly, my favorite thing was that it was getting to be lunch time, but we weren't in a place to stop, so for like half an hour he kept playing the "I'm feeling hungry. May I please have a snack?" And we were finally like, "Oh shit, I bet he's hungry." Don't you feel stupid when the kid is basically saying "GIVE ME FOOD" and you're like "oh, ha...that's clever! but you have to wait for us to catch on."

Seriously, go to Wal-Mart (or Target or whatever mass merchandiser is nearby), find this Scout, press the buttons. Now repeat for five hours and you have my car ride to Virginia.

T has the life, man, he just sleeps about 14 hours a day, eats for about 2, and then just hangs out the rest of the time. Great, cause I don't have to make sure he's not breaking something or trying to eat cat food. But really, you can't leave the house. You can't...do anything. We've been watching a lot of American Idol (thank you DVR) and I finally got internet from the neighbors so I can check my Farmville and upload photos.

So yeah, it's been nice here. There is no snow on the ground. It's supposed to hit 53 tomorrow. We're gonna go to the Outlets. I'm hoping for a pair of jeans and some shot glasses or some sort of souvenir to be like "Yeah bitchez I went on vacation!" We're gonna eat at Friday's, which I am super stoked about. I have been craving it for weeks now and we don't have one in the backwoods where I comes from. I have two memories of Friday's: one was in our Hotel when Molly, Seth, Maddi & I went to Minnesota for a conference & we saw Margaret Cho (hello free stuff cause my college is cool like that) AND upon doing a google search, that was actually Applebee's. But I thought it was Friday's, so... The second memory is going with Rae & Ian and having some sort of salad cause we were doing Atkins at the time. All I know is, I want me some fucking goodass food. I mean, my aunt is a great cook and all. But I'm on vacation, so I feel like I should be indulging my taste buds. Also, I hear there is an Aquarium, but I guess that should wait for next time. EVEN THOUGH! They might be moving soon.

Which would ruin my chances of seeing this colonial crap for the sake of saying "Yeah, I've been there" and the Aquarium. Hmm, I wonder if my aunt would trust me with her car, lol. Cause I would totally go alone if she didn't want to haul T over there. He is so fussy with his coat in the car seat. Yeah, ok. Long post. Time to update my Facebook's "Where Have You Been" even though I've been here before.

No comments: