Wednesday, March 10, 2010

No Spoilers, I Promise

So, spring has sprung here in BFE and this means I will feel more comfortable leaving my house to do things because I know I won't skid off the road into a tree or embankment and die. However, this also means that there are all sorts of fun creatures out. Last night, a poor little opossum almost met his end, but he was lucky that I had not hit top speed and my brakes work like magic. Plus, I probably would've swerved into an embankment or tree in order to not kill him.

Also, this nice weather has brought out the crows. Much earlier than they used to come out. And I swear, I was about to get out of bed and slit one's throat because he would not SHUT THE HELL UP. I think he was outside my window, or ON IT somehow, because loud and so annoying. I don't even like the sound when I'm awake, let alone when I have a headache and trying to sleep.

I had a dream about Sonja last night for the first time in awhile. Only this one was not nearly as long, confusing, and fucked up as usual. Here's the whole dream: She was standing at the front of a classroom, answering questions about her newborn. Wearing boots made from pink shag carpeting.

Now, on to the point of today's post: Alice In Wonderland (2D because 3D makes me want to vomit)

Reason why there are no spoilers: Nothing new happens, if you saw the Disney one or read the books, you know what happens. Just turn down the lighting on your TV when you watch the Disney or the live-action from YEARS ago (1985 with Natalie Gregory) and pretend like the Mad Hatter has so much of a forced lisp that you can barely understand him. Also, the Red Queen...I don't know what they told her to speak like, but I would say she has no diction; I couldn't recount at least 65% of what she said.

Also, the theater I was in was incredibly loud. Even for a theater, so my ears were bleeding by the time the plot appeared, so I may have missed something that made it worth seeing. Regardless of the volume (and fact that the screen kept going blank randomly...stupid theater), I wouldn't say the climax was really a climax, seeing as how they tell you what will happen about two minutes after she falls down the hole. There is a huge lack of painting the roses red, which, let's face it, is everyone's favorite part of the Disney version.

Props for casting though: Alan Rickman plays the caterpillar. And I LOVE SNAPE. I love him in everything he's in. Galaxy Quest anyone? Yeah. Thought so.

Definitely not a movie I would see again, especially not for $6 and a free popcorn like last night. I mean, free popcorn (insert thumbs up here), but it didn't really have me leave with any feeling other than "So what should we do now?" Usually I like to discuss elements or talk about a viewing party when it comes to DVD (ie: PRECIOUS! Bought the last copy at Wal-Mart, popped in an X-Box and cried with my friends).

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