Monday, March 01, 2010

Here It Is! My Novel (pt. 1)

Ok, so many people have asked. And I'm finally going to cave. I will post chapters (or sections of chapters if they are long) of my novel. At random intervals. (with basic editing, naturally)

ps: don't judge my writing please. I wrote it in a month while high off caffeine pills. I haven't edited it or looked at it since. I will leave comments enabled for now but if they get mean, or even Russian again, I will most likely turn them off.

In A Child's Hand (thank you Rae & Lifetime: Television for Women for my inspiration)

1
As the razor sharp blade of the knife made its way down her arm, the paleness of her skin was broken with red. Then, not just broken, but covered. She felt a great amount of pain, but felt she needed to continue. This was her plan, her goal; she wanted nothing else out of life. The knife switched now to the other arm, which still had the glow of fresh morning snow. She let out a small gasp as it made its way down the other arm, in the same fashion, creating parallel scars that would never completely heal.

She stared at the blood, knowing this was the end, only caring about her life. Not the other life she was about to end. The blood pooled next to her head, as she set it on the floor, curled into the fetal position, and started crying. She briefly thought about her baby. She knew it was going to hurt, but she never thought it would be this painful to have the life pour out of you. There was knocking on her door. She knew whomever it was would worry if she didn’t answer, but didn’t really care, so she ignored it. The knocking became more frantic, worrisome even. But she closed her eyes, and let her mind flow.

She saw a forest in late October, the leaves covering the ground like an orange and yellow quilt. It seemed familiar, but she had been in many wooded areas, and couldn’t quite pinpoint it. A plaid coat came into view. She knew that coat, but again, couldn’t place it. And then, when the two small children following closely behind the coat became clear, she knew it. She recognized the scene instantly, seeing herself as one of the children. This had taken place years ago, but was fresh in her memory.

The tears came faster as she tried to get out of the dream, but to no avail. Her dying mind needed her to relive this day. She was unaware of the people now filling the room that her body was lying in. All she saw were the two kids carrying a giant bag, of which she knew the exact contents. It played out like a movie, one she had seen many times before.

The man in the plaid coat stopped and turned. “This will make a good place to stop.” The kids set down the bag. He pushed them away and opened the bag; the smaller of the two, a boy, falling to the ground. The other, his sister, helped him up as the man pulled out a box of bullets.

“So you two ready to learn the proper way to shoot a deer?”

“Yes, sir,” they said in unison. But they weren’t. She was only nine, and he was five – much too young to shoot a deer, let alone be out in the woods with their father while he shot one.

The man loaded his rifle, a thirty-thirty automatic, and aimed at a leaf, that unfortunately hadn’t followed its mates to the ground. He pulled the trigger and the kids covered their ears at the noise. They had never heard something so loud and close to their ears. The leaf exploded, ripping into pieces from the bullet. He chuckled.

“Kids, just imagine that is the brain of a beautiful buck.”

Worried, they looked at each other, and tried not to think about exploding deer brains. The fear that they would be next ran through them as he loaded up another bullet. He leaned his rifle up against a tree and reached into the bag. The kids were uneasy, wondering if they had left something in the truck. He kept rooting around, and came out empty handed.

He looked at them, his eyes angry. “Where is the beer?” They said nothing in reply. “Kyle, I told you to put it in here. Where is it?” Again, silence. “Answer me!”

He swallowed hard, “I must’ve forgotten to put it in.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He slammed his arms down at his sides. “I put you in charge of one thing and you fuck it up. How do you fuck that up? It’s so simple.”

“It’s in the truck. I know I put it in there.”
“Go back and get it.”

The girl knew that he was too young to find his way to the truck and back. “May I go with him? He’ll never find his way back,” she asked weakly.

“You have ten minutes.” He patted his belt and they both knew that he meant ten minutes. Not ten and a half, but ten on the dot. He looked at his watch. “Go.”

They started walking toward the truck, not knowing exactly where they were going, but had the general direction in memory. For some reason, they decided that this would be the perfect time to run away. If they got lost in the woods, someone would find them. Someone would have to find them. And even if no one did, and they died here, they wouldn’t have to die by his hand. They had lived with his abuse for nearly four years and knew they would die unless they got away.

They reached the bottom of a small hill and recognized a tree from their trek in. The girl turned to be certain that he could no longer see them. She tapped the boy on the shoulder and they started running as fast as they could in the opposite direction of the tree. After fifty or so feet, they found an uprooted tree and hid behind it. Although breathing heavily, Kyle reached into his pocket and started whispering.

“Olivia, Daddy’s going to find us, isn’t he?”

She was panting, and didn’t want to get his spirits down. “No way; we’ll be just fine.” It was a lie, and he could tell by her tone.

“No. He’s going to know something is up.” His hand came out of his pocket in a fist, holding something resembling a small gold chain. “I bought this for you with my allowance that day mom and I went to the mall. No one knows about it.”

She let his fist open into her palm and a small locket fell. She started crying. “You spent your allowance on me? Why would you do that?”
He started crying. “Olivia, you always make sure Daddy doesn’t hurt me so bad. I want you to always remember that I love you.”

A twig snapped behind them. “Shh! Did you hear that?”

Olivia’s hands started shaking when she heard the leaves crunch behind them. In a panic, she stuffed the locket into her pocket; no one was going to take the most precious thing she ever owned away from her. They were frozen in terror. Hearing a familiar breath, they knew they had been found. Her thoughts zoomed back to the deer brain exploding. They both knew that their father had come with the gun, to find out what in hell they thought they were doing.

“I know you’re around her somewhere! Your asses are going to pay for this!”

His voice bellowed through the trees, startling a flock of birds and a few squirrels. Their breaths became quieter despite their fear. The eerie feeling of his presence loomed over them as they realized that their plan had failed. His belt cleared the loops of his jeans and they both closed their eyes, awaiting the inevitable. Olivia couldn’t help but let out a small yelp when the tip of his belt whipped around the tree and hit her in the upper arm.

“Did you think you could get away with this? You ungrateful brats!” He came around the tree and kept whipping the belt at the two of them. They both cried out from the pain as it welted their arms, legs, and midsection. He finally stopped, but they both stayed on the ground in the pile of leaves. “Get up.”

They tried, but were incredibly tired from the struggle. “I said get up!” He grabbed Kyle’s arm and jerked him up, repeating with Olivia. “Now, individual punishments.” He turned Olivia around and wound up.

As the belt was coming down, Kyle ran in front of her, “No!”

His cheek stung from the belt as he fell to the ground. Olivia wanted to turn and see what she was hearing, but was afraid of the consequences. Kyle’s shrieks echoed through the empty woods as the belt came down over and over. She knew she could do nothing, and it made the pain feel so much worse. What seemed like an eternity passed before his cries stopped, she no longer felt him writhing against her legs. Olivia had seen bad whippings from her father before, but nothing as bad as this one and she was afraid to discover why it became quiet.

“Olivia, grab the bag and let’s head back to the truck.”

She turned and saw her brother lying on the ground, bloody and lifeless, and took a breath when she noticed his chest rising and falling steadily but slowly. She reached down to help him stand, but her father pushed her away.

“I said grab the bag.”

“You’re going to leave him? What are you going to tell mom?”
“I will take care of your mother…And if he wants to, he can get up and walk with us.”
“I’m not letting him stay here to die.”

The back of his hand came down on her cheek. “You will pick up that bag and walk it back to the truck. I don’t want to hear any more back talk. I will take care of your brother.”

She decided to stop arguing and just pick up the bag. As she walked, she looked back every couple steps to see what her father was doing to help her brother. She saw him pick Kyle up and start nudging him along. Her tears started again at the sight of his weak knees buckling. Although she was relatively far ahead of them, she could see the anger in her father’s eyes and quickly turned.

Suddenly, Olivia heard leaves rustling and turned just in time to see Kyle trying to run as fast as his pathetic body could take him. Her heart went out of control as she saw her father’s rifle take its place on his shoulder. She shoved her hand in her pocket and grasped the locket as she saw his finger go for the trigger.

“Kyle!” She used what seemed like the last of her strength to yell out. Her voice moving at the same speed as the bullet. He dropped to the ground at the same time as her father’s bag. Olivia ran toward him faster than she had ever run before, her father standing in shock at what he had done. She got to his body, fell to the ground and picked up his head.

“Kyle? No, you can’t leave me. We’re supposed to protect each other remember?” Her words were desperate.

He reached up his hand and placed it on her cheek. “You’ll be safe now.” With these final words, his hand slowly fell to the ground.


That is the first half. I did some crazy editing thing where I have the present and flashbacks in the same chapter. It just makes more sense to end this post here. Plus it's long as hell. This hurts me, posting my novel. I don't share things I wrote. I also apologize if the HTML tags are there. Word messes something up with blogger. So...basically it hates me when I copy/paste.

No comments: