Tuesday, January 12, 2010


1. I am pissed at whomever these assholes are that supply our heater motors. And I do mean plural, because they break every year. Also, what the hell is with them not giving a shit that we are sans heat in the middle of fucking winter. I mean, I have a snuggie and everything, but it doesn't keep your pipes from freezing or melt the deathcicles while it gets to 3 degrees F, or -11. Maybe a week and a half isn't long enough to order a motor and I'm being unfair. I'm not really sure. But I am sure that I would like the world to stop shitting on my family and get us a heater.

2. I am sick of hearing people say, "Oh yeah, global warming is sure real. I mean, we only got 3 feet of snow this weekend..." You are a completely fucking ignorant asshat. Global warming doesn't equal warm temperatures year round, no snow instantly. I hate people who are so accustomed to "instant gratification" that if they don't get it, they just brush it off. No one said it was going to happen in 2009. No one said it would happen by 2015. Just fucking shut up.

3. I'm kinda sick of people who don't understand an answering machine. I was taught that you call, leave your name & number, and a BRIEF description of why you are calling. This mostly applies to my dad's clients. No offense, but I do not care: "Back in 1993 there was a subdivision of some land, but then my grandpa died in 1995 and turns out the lawyer forgot to disclose information. So then, we were talking to Henry but he didn't really know who had the drawing, said maybe it was Chuck. And you would probably have it now. Or maybe the courthouse. And my neighbor just moved out back in October, and these new people want to build a fence. They were thinking of cutting down this giant oak tree, but I'm pretty sure its on my land. But, Hey! all I need you to do is drop off a copy of my property! And everything I told you prior to that last statement is pointless! Here are six phone numbers you might be able to reach me at, depending on what hour-long segment of the day you try! Oh, and I'm going to say my name while I'm sighing, so good luck decoding that info. Thanks. Bye."

4. I really hate myself right now. And I don't know what to do about it. I do what therapists have told me. What non-therapists have told me. And it works like a roller coaster. I go up, and I feel like I will stay up, but then something happens and everything goes barreling down at the speed of light.

5. I need a doctor. I have health problems; I must. Or else I wouldn't feel this way. I wouldn't feel sick unless I eat sugar. I wouldn't pee twice a day regardless of how much or how little I drink. My stomach wouldn't get intense pains that leave me immobile for days. I could get my "spot" checked out (it's probably a birthmark, but I don't remember ever having it before...). Maybe I could stop having headaches that hurt more than when I had a rusty garden hoe go through my foot. However, I can not go to the doctors here. They will see that I have no insurance and then be condescending as fuck. I know this for a fact. Cause that happened last time.


Tasha said...

I really hate myself right now too. It is rather terrible.

CarmenT said...

I was reading about the stupid answering machine messages and was LMAO at your description of ie: your dad's clients. One of my roommates heard me laughing, asked what about and when I explained she said to tell you that the crazy person who leaves the messages says hi and to phone her soon (but you have to come up with the phone number - LOL). Seriously though, funny post