Friday, December 04, 2009

Sometimes I Dream About Being Poisoned

I just woke up from a nap. And before I fell asleep I had an itch on my head right where a middle part would be...if I ever took care of my hair, but ANYWAY.

In the dream, I was at Melissa's house, but it was actually this house that I remember having been in before (but I'll be damned if I can remember whose it was). Well, I was cooking (as I was/am in real life) and my dad had to run out to get buns (all real events). So while he was out, I was going to work on his present, which involved cutting out pictures. I found out the toilet needed cleaned, so I went to put some of that blue/green stuff in it. Well I got it all over my hands and scratched my head where it had itched when I was awake. And I was like "Shit. I need to rinse that." I started rinsing it in the sink and when I opened my eyes there was blood in the sink.

I looked in the mirror and there was blood coming out of each individual hair follicle thing where the green stuff had touched. So I start freaking out even more and panicking that my scalp is just going to come off in bloody pieces. And the blood gets into my eyes as I'm rinsing and then I'm trying to get it out of my eyes, but as I'm doing this, the whole deal gets into my mouth. And it's like that foaming pipe cleaner - it foams up my entire mouth. But it's not my house, so I have no toothbrush, and I just keep spitting. I'm afraid that my dad will be upset that he has to take me to the hospital (because we have no insurance - holla government...) so I think of the most obvious solution to freaking being poisoned.

And that is to pH balance the basic of the cleaner with the acidity of mouthwash. I went through about six rounds of this before all the green stopped coming out and I felt unpoisoned. So I discover these solid pieces in my mouth and I assume that it is because of my brilliant pH work, and I start pulling the chunks out. My dad pulls in the driveway and comes up to the house, but the chunks are coming in mass quantities now. I keep pulling them out and trying to find a garbage can, but eventually they just start pouring out of my mouth. And I realize they are little strips of the photo paper that I had been cutting apart earlier.

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