Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Sigh

Got really disgusted by the bathroom today. Went on an hour long cleaning freak out, using glass cleaner to scrape soap scum off the counter and sink. Why glass cleaner? you may ask. Because the other stuff is really strong and kills HPV and basically eats through skin. Didn't really think that using it for the toothbrush shelf was a good idea. Then I swept and mopped the floor. Yeah, I really went all out. The first person who screws it up will die.

I really need to do laundry. I have been recycling t-shirts for about a week. There are two dollar bills laying on my desk, with intent to be turned into quarters. If only there were two more hours in a day, I would be able to wash my clothes. Sigh.

I'm not a huggy person. But lately I have been wanting to hug people that I never thought I would be able to touch, let alone hug. You know, like professors... I just want to thank people when I think its due, and hugging them is sticking out in my mind. However:
1. She would probably freak out
2. I would probably start crying
3. She would probably freak out

Flunk Day, where the hell are you?

varoooom

I love chips. Except the ones I have right now are really spicy. And I'm not really digging it as much as I could.

I decided that I want to have kids. Not literally, but, for lack of a better word, acquire them. As long as it isn't obnoxious like most of Jon & Kate's 8, I should be fine. I'll take a Cara or an Aidan, but not a Maddi.

It was kinda craft night. I didn't get very far. I was distracted by other things, such as conversations about drunk texting, "battle" wounds, and singing Straight Up by Paula Abdul approximately 4 times. I'm not really in a state that allows for things such as counting and remembering things.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Zoos & Breezes

There are some moments in life you wish would last forever. One of those times is now.

I'm sitting on my balcony. It's 10:30 pm. There is a breeze - with the occasional gust of wind - blowing quietly over me. It is almost silent aside from the branches of the tree next to me. No police sirens, no gun shots at the Quickie, no trains! Even the Jazz House is quiet. This is one of the moments that make me happy I never succeeded in suicide.

Anyway....
Today was a very happy day. In typical S&M fashion, on the way back from brunch I told Molly I wanted to go to the zoo; I'd even do her homework for her. There was about 10 minutes of internal debate with herself, and then she was just like, "Ok, let's go." An hour later we were entering the Peoria Zoo. Who knew that $5.95 could buy happiness?

Ok, while there were no giraffes (yet, there will be in June) and the tortoises were kept inside because it's still "too cold," it was still a fun time. I mean, I got a picture of every animal there in and it took about 30 photos - not every species...every individual. Yeah, very small, but I got to pet a goat! And one of the tigers was about three inches from us- of course there was some plexiglass between us, but THREE INCHES!

I didn't invite anyone else (sorry) but I really just needed S&M time. Because we never get that anymore and I feel left out of everything. Then she bought me my birthday present! A t-shirt that feels like it was made in Heaven. It's 70% bamboo and feels so amazingly soft.

Then I came home with intent to take a 20 minute nap. After sleeping through my alarm for nearly half an hour, I got a phone call. I thought it was actually 7:49 AM and I was late for my senior research...Yeah, it wasn't. However, I did need to wake up so I could do my German homework. Then I did that. And ate some brownies for dinner. And now I'm on my balcony enjoying this marvelous Sunday night. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would go to a zoo today. Especially since last night I was thinking way too much about things and may or may not have done something stupid. But let's not talk about that, k?
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Now playing: Lauryn Hill - Killing Me Softly
via FoxyTunes

Two Parter (a real downer)

I am thoroughly disappointed in myself for waiting until the last minute to take my language. I was terrified that I would get some evil professor who wouldn't care that I am way too anxious to speak in front of people and would force me to do it all the time. Naturally, fate would wait until my last year at Knox to let me have a class that didn't make me suicidal (quite literally); one where the professor didn't shove personal research interests down my throat at every chance possible; one that I will actually miss attending every day.

You have no idea how many times I sat down and wrote out drafts of emails asking you to consider changing your incomplete policy for someone who needed the class to graduate but needed to spend some time away from everyone. Perhaps under strict watch in a hospital or something. I feel like you would've done anything you could to help me get through the term, but I was always too afraid to ask.
You have no idea how much your class helped me get through. I don't understand my thought processes, but after doing homework, I would think, "Well, I can't kill myself now. I would've just used my last ten minutes alive to do German homework..."
You have no idea how hard it is for me to say this all to you. Again, my thought processes are strange, but I was never worried about hurting my friends or family if I were to kill myself. I was worried about hurting people like my therapist, whom I'm afraid would've thought it was her fault, and you, who told me about losing someone else.

Anyway, I'm a rambler, but the point I'm trying to make is thank you.
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Now playing: Ani DiFranco - Marrow
via FoxyTunes


I have considered failing just so I can stay for another year. I have no idea what I'm going to do with two worthless degrees. At least with German skills I could talk to my grandparents for the first time in 15 years without needing my mother to translate. Or I could move there and give tours of the Munich Zoo to tourists like I really want to. Instead, I wasted five years proving to my family that I am as big a failure as I think I am.

Not many people know this. But my dream would be to have graduated from Brown in the usual 4 years, getting my teaching certificate, and teaching high school math. But really, how could I have been good enough for something like that?
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Now playing: The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Nightmare

There was a fish tank in my room with two snakes in it. One was one of those giant python things and the other was a garter snake. Well, the small one went to sleep, so I scared him and then he started trying to eat the bigger one. The big one did not like this, so he started eating the smaller one. I tried to pull them apart with a stick, and the little one jumped(?) onto the stick near my hand so I screamed and dropped it.

Turns out there were two wrapped together when it came out, and while I was freaking out on the bed because there were snakes on my floor, they mated. Only there were no eggs, just new baby snakes that were crawling all over the floor. And getting bigger by the minute. They kept crawling up the bed posts and I kept trying to smoosh them so they wouldn't get to me. I called my mom in and she said, "Just run across the floor, you'll be fine."

Then, naturally, the babies started mating with each other and producing even more baby snakes, leaving me absolutely mortified. I threw all the blankets and pillows off the bed so I would be able to see the whole mattress and kill any that managed to climb up. I was terrified that one would crawl into my vagina and lay eggs. TERRIFIED. As the snakes started to take over the pile of pillows, I climbed out of my bed, onto the dresser, then across my desk to try to get to the door. When I looked back, the entire bed was covered in 3-5 inch long snake babies.
_____________________________________________________
I never made it to the door before I somehow forced myself to wake up. But I am still worried about there being snakes on the floor. And in my bed. And everywhere.

The dream dictionary I usually use says that this is about sex (snakes are phallic) but I really don't think so. Yeah, I was afraid of it in my vagina, but I honestly don't think it was about sex.

I think it was more like "I'm being surrounded by things I have no control over and that terrify me. I need to find a way to get out. And of course my unconscious would wake me right before I find the answer."

Friday, April 24, 2009

I decided that today is a horrible day.

And the whiskey didn't even make it better.

Ich bin sommersprossig!

Because I have problems dealing with change:
1. Deleted 18 friends from MySpace
2. Deleted nearly all my photos
3. Posted a bulletin inviting my friends to add me on Facebook.
4. Still haven't deleted anything major...

German word of the day: Sommersprosse(n) - freckle

Alternative definition: Those little brown spots that cover my entire face and shoulders once the sun shines for more than an hour everyday.

Sometimes I really enjoy it; I think its cute. However, there are some days where I can absolutely not stand it...ABSOLUTELY not stand it.

Today is one of those days where I love it.

Spring is AWESOME!!!

I decided to move out into my living room to enjoy the beautiful day outside...Trains. The entire time I have been out here, there has been a train. It is impossible to enjoy the sounds of spring, including the cardinals that are courting on the tree next to my balcony, when there is a giant hoooooooonk every two seconds.

It is impossible to be in a bad mood when you are woken by a light breeze and the sun shining in through your window. I love the morning after thunderstorms. Everything just smells so wonderful (even on a college campus, lol). I realize this post sounds like I'm stoned or something, but I'm just really excited about the day.

Sigh, I do not want to do the whole school thing today. I either want to sit on the balcony and stare into space all day or go sit at Lake Storey.

Side note: I hate Nutrisystem commercials.

I just decided that I kind of want to just delete my Facebook and MySpace and start over. MySpace is nothing but a place for teenage girls to upload photos of themselves half naked and post bulletins begging for photo comments. I'm going to go through withdrawal for a couple days...but I think I'm gonna do it. I will update later about how it's going.
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Now playing: Ani DiFranco - Fixing Her Hair
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ah...Thursdays

Definitely had a dream about German last night (surprise).
*The first part: I woke up at 12:51 and our oral was at 11:50. No one had called to wake me. And I was really upset at them for allowing me to miss it.
*The second part: I got a 100% on it. This one made me especially happy.

Let's hope that second part comes true...it won't, but there's nothing like hoping!

WOOOOOOOOOO GERMAN ORAL EXAMS!!! My lieblingsding. (or something)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tuesdays Aren't Much Better Than Mondays

Ah, another Tuesday goes by, bringing us into another Wednesday.

I woke up, went to the Psych lounge and attempted to work on my German oral.

Then I practiced my German oral.

Then I took Carri to Walgreens and returned some movies.

Then I came home, got a massive migraine, and went to sleep. I intended to go to German Club, but I could not wake up. I went to sleep around 3:40 pm, woke up at 9 pm. Still had that migraine.

Then I freaked out because I forgot that I hadn't done any of the German homework that is due tomorrow. That lasted about an hour before I spilled red juice all over it, leaving it pink and soaked.

Went to Steak 'n' Shake in an attempt to remain sane. Came home, finished my Arbeitsbuch for German, and then didn't even bother studying for the exam. Then I wrote this blog.

I really don't want to study, since I have to be up in 8 hours to do senior research, take the German exam, then do more senior research. I don't even have time to go to the health center to tell Lyle that my headaches have been getting worse, with blurred vision.

Garfloogal

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Mondays Are The Worst

So, let's discuss Shit-tastic Monday.

1. Sonja is a wonderful person. We go into her office, say a few things, she does above and beyond what we wanted. She told Mike to get out of our group.

2. Now that Mike is gone, S-Dawg asks if we can work with Lexi. Ok fine, yeah, whatever. We even have two more days to practice and stuff. We schedule to meet at 9. All four of us schedule to meet at 9. And we get a text at like 9:20 that says "Hey, too sick to come. Sorry, hun."
  1. Elliot is not a "hun"
  2. Thanks for the late notice.
  3. I don't care if you fail.
3. I am sick too. I don't give two shits about anyone else's flu or cold or whatever. I swear to God, she will not fuck this up for me.

4. I broke a fish tank with my hand the other day, leaving me with a ton of glass shards throughout my palm. The professor is fine with it, because I apologized. Or so I thought. Because, yesterday, I'm sure there were at least 5 references/jokes about how I broke it. I can't tell if she is trying to make me feel guilty or better about it. I didn't do it on purpose, I was bleeding for a good 10 minutes, and it shouldn't have even broken. What fish tank shatters when you tap it? None.

5. I don't like being the leader of groups. I actually kind of hate it. However, (and this is in no way directed at Amelia or Elliot, per se, just a little frustration), I have become the leader of this German oral exam. Elliot helped me type it, Amelia helped write it. Yet I have sent out all the emails about postponing the exam, I'm providing all the props, the soundtrack. This is not my style. I'm not a fan of being a leader in any situation. I'm not upset with them, but someone had to take the reins, and that person was me. I like the status quo and venturing from it makes me uneasy.

6. Work. This is the part in my day, when I should just pack up, go home, and never think about school ever again. Hey, I'll start cleaning up the chicken stuff before Mackenzie gets here to speed things up. All right, emptied all the food dishes. Let's take out the waterers and and empty those. Oh, hey, look, A FLATTENED BABY CHICK!
What? How did they not notice this chicken when they were removing the rest of them? They took them out last Tuesday. It has been stuck down there since sometime after 4:15 pm Tuesday. That is the last time I watered them, and made sure there were none down there. After approximately ten minutes of me screaming, "Oh God. Oh God. I'm gonna vomit," I put on a glove, and dropped it into a plastic bag. Then Mackenzie put it in a freezer somewhere.

I left the lab, went home, ate a donut, took some medicince, and watched a movie. I'm so done with animals dying around me. Especially chickens.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Mike.

1. I am sick. I hate not being able to breathe. First cold during the school year, and it came right at the time of an oral exam. I can barely speak English...How does one expect me to speak German when I can only breathe through one nostril?

2. I hate being frustrated to the point of crying. That is where I am right now. On top of everything that I blogged about yesterday (*edit - I meant today? I guess I posted it after midnight), there is the added pressure of working with Mike. Some direct quotes from the afternoon:
"I'm not going to be of much help. I've got a headache."

Amelia: What are you doing?
Mike: Looking up the longest word ever.

Amelia: You could try to contribute.
Mike: I trust you guys.

"I'm on a boat." (this one has been said approximately 325 times in the last three days)
3. There is so much more, but I don't want to write/talk about it. This is bad, because I'm going to bottle it up until it explodes on me. It's totally that laundry basket analogy again: You can keep putting more clothes into the basket, but eventually the walls will cave and you will have the aftermath to clean up.

Inspiration

I have decided that I'm going to write a letter to a professor to explain to him/her how inspiring and influential he/she has been in my life.

I'm excited for this person to read it, but also nervous as hell to give it to him/her. Hopefully he/she will take it as a good thing, and not some pathetic college student sucking up to the last possible second for a great recommendation letter or something.

I have way too much adoration for this person. It's starting to interfere with life a little.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Prairie Fire & Birds

As of 4:30 pm yesterday, I have no more job, really. JTemp and I caught the remaining starlings in the aviary and released them back into the wild. The chickens went to a happy farm, where they will all have their own fluffy beds and amazing room service. Now my daily routine will consist of sprinkling some fish food into a couple tanks and then leaving. I also have to do stuff for lab, but that doesn't really compare to the responsibility of keeping animals alive.

On a completely different note, I think I have a cold. I hate when my nose is stuffed. I'd rather it be runny. I don't know about you, but I kind of like breathing.

I may have just seen the worst commercial ever. Air fresheners shaped like trees were talking to me...

The Prairie Fire is today! I never thought it would be so exciting to watch a bunch of people light a prairie on fire, but it really is. I mean, it is our lame-as-hell mascot. Prairie Fire...some schools get tigers, lions, or Spartans, and we get a fire.

I have to eat stale chips for breakfast because I have no food. Or money. And nothing on campus is open yet except breakfast, but it would be closed by the time I got there. I should probably shower, but it would be a waste because I'm going to be all smokey and ashy from the fire. I'm so incredibly tired, I'm pretty sure you don't understand. I feel pregnant: hungry all the time, perpetually tired, irritable. The latter can be relieved by just ignoring people, but I could sleep for 7-9 hours and still be tired. I can even take a nap and be exhausted. I don't even do anything that would cause me to be tired. Maybe I should start exercising more than walking to the third floor of GDH every day.

My mind is so scattered this morning. It was like, "Chip, tissue, tv, chip, bird, what's that smell, chip, tv..." It has also been about forty-five minutes since I started this, and I'm a relatively fast typer. I should stop blogging for now, and take a nap or something. Yes, it's 10 am. Yes, I have only been awake for 2 hours. I am exhausted.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Heidi Klum is "too fat"

If you know anything about me, you know that I have body image issues, and negative amounts of self-esteem most of the time. However, it is when I read crap like this, that makes me completely lose faith in the American media...
In the meantime, model Heidi Klum (at right), has recently been declared as being too "fat" to model on the runway. If she's fat (and, mind you, this woman has had three children), what does that say about the average American woman? Thirty years ago, the average model weighed 10 pounds heavier for the same height as they do today. Speaking in terms of numbers, the average model today weighs 115 pounds and the average American woman weighs 147 pounds. And, that's not even considering the height differences.
Heidi Klum is 1) not fat and 2) no one the average woman should base her image on. Heidi is smokin' hot, but really, how realistic is it that every woman will look like her? It's not.

I took a break from writing this to look through my Google Reader, and discovered this. I assume this is to blame for calling Heidi "fat." She is pregnant.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Craft Time!

Hey, guess what I did tonight!

Wrong! I cut a piece of my finger out. Screw craft night. Screw decoupage. Screw scissors.

But anyway, I think I'm going to upload pictures of my "upcycled" art. Let's just say old magazines, keystone cans, glue. It's beautiful, really.

Collage'ing is so much fun. You have no idea.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pandora

I may have just created the best Pandora station in the world.
Artists that it has been featuring:
The Blow
The LK
Feist
The Postal Service
Yelle

That is all.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter

I see it's been awhile. There's actually not much to report. Even dream land hasn't been that exciting.

In the spirit of spring, I swept our balcony in the hopes that we may one day use it. My sunflowers are doing quite well. We have a ton of chicken babies!

I've been incredibly bored lately. I do my German homework (there's 10 minutes), go feed the birds (fifteen minutes at most), and then sit around wondering what to do.

I can not wait for May 16th, because I get to 1. go to a zoo (zomg!) and 2. go to Chicago for the first time. The latter, not so exciting, but I can finally say that I've been there.


Speaking of dream land, the other day, I had a dream that my dog went out into the woods and brought back his kill. At first, I couldn't figure out what it was, but then I saw that it was a bear cub. Someone asked if I wanted to pet it and see how soft it was, and my reply was "Hell no. If that's a baby, mom is close behind. I'm getting the f*** out of here." Then I ran into the house. (*Also, the f*** is a tribute to Sonja, because she did that on the latest hand-out, and I thought it was funny. Especially since on the next page it said FUCK INTERNET. And when we asked her about it, her reply was, "Well, what am I gonna do?" and a laugh.)

I guess that's it for now. Maybe more later today. I have to do senior reserach. Boo kitties.

Oh, and Happy Easter for those of you with holiday spirit.
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Now playing: Tech N9ne - Caribou Lou
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Dream & Chickens

Repeat dream from twitter (yellowpansy72), but with more detail:

I went to my Gma's house with both parents (weird...) and went to the bathroom to change my clothes. Then Stacey, Luke and Cody (my cousins) were in there with me, and I kept shooing them out, but they weren't leaving. Then I couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet because there was no lever and Gma said "There's a button back there...No not that one. That is the muffin maker."

So then we started to make muffins and I had to stop my grandma in the middle of it and say, "Hold on I need to twitter about making muffins." So I did from my phone (which I set up last night!)

Then it morphed into another dream, but I don't really remember it because my roommate's alarm went off.

Chicks pt 2 coming soon! (with pics!)

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I Hated Today

I just want to cry.

Chickens pt. 1

Had a dream that I was David Sedaris...only he was a girl. And people referred to me as a dyke, so I looked up "dike" in the dictionary, and couldn't figure out why people were calling me a dam.

Dream 2: The chickens hatched and I went to check on them and they all started walking around the bio lab and I freaked out and shut them all in small boxes while I waited for Audra to get there and help me.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Stef the Feminist?

I don't normally identify myself as a feminist, although I do think that men and women should be equal in all matters, no matter how big or small. (ps: this is where I place a shameless plug for a friend's feminist website http://impersonated.blogspot.com/ - you should go and comment)

However, while watching tv earlier, I was thinking about channel titles: We - women's entertainment, Lifetime - television for women, Spike - an American cable network designed for an audience described demographically as "young adult males."(from Wikipedia)

When did tv become something that can be categorized into female or male viewing? Who decides what shows are for women and which are for men?

MXC is on Spike, and I happen to enjoy it a great deal. But perhaps that is wrong of me, as a woman because we should apparently not enjoy a show about people getting hurt. Perhaps I should switch over to We to catch an episode of The Golden Girls, featuring a nice conversation about boyfriends and sex while they veg on cheesecake. (Coincidentally, I was watching The Golden Girls when this thought came to me; but I was switching back and forth between that and Family Guy.) Which is clearly a show for males because it features fart jokes. Sometimes there are good movies on Spike, but I'm probably not supposed to tune in.

Also, television for women (tvfw)? Let's look at the lineup: Still Standing, Reba, Frasier, Will & Grace. Clearly Will & Grace is on tvfw because why would men want to watch a show about two gay men and their 'fag hags'? That might damage their heterosexuality. Why would men want to watch Reba, a show about a single mother who can take care of children, while holding down a career? Both of the main men are portrayed as relatively stupid men - clearly a threat to any male. Frasier. I don't even understand that one...if it's going to be on tvfw, it should clearly be called Frasierette or something. Still Standing has a hot woman, a fat husband, and they are terrible parents. How is that for women? There isn't even eye candy for us. It just honestly doesn't make sense to me how that "qualifies" for women.

Also on Lifetime are these horrible movies, but they take an attractive male, make the main woman fall in love with him, he rapes/kills/cheats on her, and it ends with someone going to prison and because this is a love story, a real romance, it's put on tvfw to indulge all us sappy love story loving women.

It just makes me upset some times that there can be generalizations made about women - that we all love to sit around with friends, tissues, and Ben & Jerry's watching a love story and crying. I personally can't stand any of the Lifetime movies, but I guess that makes me an outlier.

I'm a disgrace to females everywhere because I'd choose Air Force One over Steel Magnolias, MXC over Desperate Housewives, a football game over The Hills...

Stars & Stripes Nightmare

So, woke up at 7:45 because I had a dream/nightmare about my German exam. Let's begin now.

I was sitting in the class room taking my German exam, only knowing how to do about 1/3 of it. And then I got to the written section and we were allowed to choose a Fairy Tale prompt and then write one about that. I remember: A - Stars and stripes; B - a child princess, and I don't remember the other prompts. While I was writing out the simple past of several verbs, Sonja started watching me. Then I lost one of the pages of my test somewhere and then found it; and she started laughing.

"Hey, that's not funny."
"Yes it is. But I'm sorry." pause while I write some more "This one time a guy said I was a sex goddess because I was going so long. And then I dropped the bomb on him."
"Um...ok?"

Then Susan (from the bio dept) was like "Ok, time to draw to see what prompt you can choose."
Everyone pulled a little slip of paper and mine said A with little stars all over it. "Who wants to do A?"
"Who wants to? or Who has to?"
"Well, if you pulled it, you must want to."
"Fuck."
END

Stars
To see stars in your dream, symbolize success, your aspirations and your high ideals. The stars indicate that you are putting some decision in the hands of fate and luck.


Stripes
To see stripes in your dream, suggests that you are making a bold and daring statement. Horizontal stripes represent your directness and straightforwardness.

Exam
To dream that you are taking an exam, signifies insecurities, fear of not meeting others' expectations, and fear of failure.


Hmm, imagine that. I have a fear of failure? No way. Especially not when it comes to German. psh

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Random Shtuff on My Mind

YouTube is just too much fun. This kid has enlightened me.

Fun story: Got really drunk and stoned last night. Then in the midst of fucked-up texting Aaryn, sneezed and broke my nose ring. Then I had to literally cut it out of my nose. Now it is sore as hell because I shoved a new one in. Thank God the roomie has lots of lube.

Right now I am watching Madagascar. It is very funny and I can not wait to see the second one.

I am so exhausted (and missing skin from a couple fingers) because of this TAing job. I cleaned 5 fish tanks (with help from Audra) with straight vinegar in the last couple days, leaving me vinegar scented for two days. Today was also clean the bird cages day, which means I was in the basement for like an hour. Then I fed the fish and ran a lab for someone. Tomorrow I have to cut up hotdogs and set up chick habitats. We even have to smear hotdog on flower pots (don't ask).

The best part...I LOVE IT. It would be so amazing if I had this job forever. :)

Sweet, Madagascar is on again! Now I can see the first part instead of just the last hour, which was rudely interrupted by the above youtuber.

I feel like (I typed that and then the Penguins in the movie said "sprechen" and I was so distracted that I have no idea what I was going to say).

I have a German exam tomorrow. Yeah, haven't studied and don't want to. But I have to start studying soon or tomorrow afternoon because if I don't I will fail the exam. And that is not me being negative. I know almost nothing about simple past BECAUSE it is not simple. The past of gehen is ging; finden is fand; ziehen is zog. Sometimes I just don't know - and I didn't even memorize those. Maybe the fairy tale section of the exam will pad my grade.

Everytime I have to pee, someone beats me to the bathroom.

Friday, April 03, 2009

untitled

Smoking my troubles away.

Motrin Wishes & Deutsche Dreams

Sigh, I have a German exam on Monday and a quiz today and I have no desire to study for them. I don't even feel like going to class because my head has been killing me since about 9:30 am yesterday. I took two muscle relaxants that the doctor prescribed for my headaches, but they did not work. Maybe it's because there is a warning on it that says "May Cause Headache." What? It's a headache pill...

Along those lines, I am unable to do anything with my hair. If I put it up, it hurts my head to the point of tears, but if I leave it down I get hot as hell.

This may be the drugs talking, but sometimes I wish I could touch books and have all the knowledge that is hidden in the pages. For example, I just looked up at my German Dictionary and wished I could just put my hand on it and do really well on the quiz today without having to actually study for it. Not to brag, but I could do well without studying, but I want to do really well since this is technically my only class.

Also, I think I have made a revelation about my senior research while in the depths of headache hell. I want to give up on this bird stuff, because of time restraints. That's really all. I still want to take care of them, but I can't handle doing this research, especially if my head is going to explode the second I think about meeting with Sharon. I think I'm going to tell her today that I want to switch to the dog stuff. I find the bird experiment really interesting and would be totally willing to be a research assistant or something, but I don't want my grade and college graduation riding on it.

I have a chipped tooth and it is very sharp, thus it keeps cutting my tongue and it's quite an uncomfortable situation.

Remember that movie "Andre" about the seal? I just had a random thought about it. Wtf?

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Now playing: Terrorgruppe - Keiner Hilft Euch
via FoxyTunes
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Now playing: Wir sind Helden - Nur ein Wort
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Another Dream?

I was visiting Beth at her home home (like, in MN, not Knox) and we wanted to get to her room, but her dad was an abusive man so we had to sneak around the house. Because she lived in a giant garage with her own clothing store. This way she can just "shop" for clothes every day.

Then we had to get to our ballet recital and either her or my brother kept making fun of us for wearing these GIANT pink tutus. I was freaking out because I hadn't shaved my legs yet and had to get to the place where our recital was.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

More Dreams!

The theme of last night's dreams was: Things I Hope Never Happen (and a lack of Sonja :( )

1. My grandma was really fat, and had to hold up her stomach when she walked so it wouldn't get in the way of her legs swinging.

2. Someone I dislike a great deal won the Psych Poster Session, thus the $250. And they asked him/her to redo the poster to fix any spelling/grammar errors; when he/she was done the dept. looked at it and said, "Hmm. We revoke your winning." (So, that second part was awesome, but the first part not so much.)

3. Something about deleting my entire blog and I was upset because I need this blog to sustain my life.