Saturday, January 20, 2007

how many times can i say fuck in one sentence

So I guess it's been awhile.

I am still not happy. I hope people who actually know me don't read this.

The only way I can take care of my intense pain is to cause physical pain to myself. Yeah it helps, until I have to look at the little marks on my body that tell me what I just did. I am apparently very good at keeping up a front because no one here has said anything to me. BUT, I don't know if its because they really don't know, or if they know I don't like to talk about it. I don't want to cry in front of any more of my friends unless it is well worth it. And this is not.

One of my friends just joined a sorority. And although I'm really happy for her, I can't help but feel that I won't be spending as much time with her any more, and she'll just drift away like almost everyone else.

And now the fucking people next fucking door are fucking playing loud as fuck music that I don't want to fucking hear. But I have no fucking choice because there is fucking nothing I can fucking do about it. They will probably fucking play it until fucking 2 in the fucking morning. And by that fucking time, I will have probably fucking killed myself cause I can't fucking handle this anymore. The fuckers on the other side of my room have stolen a fucking couch and have fucking threatened to fucking harm people if they tell the housing people. I think I will just fucking do it, since I could care fucking less if they do it.


And, I invited Molly to my house for Spring Break, so she can save money and so I won't have to drive back by myself, mainly cause I am afraid to. However, I kinda just want to chill in Conneautville. I need to be with someone who doesn't remind me about how much I hate Knox. But I will be ok with her coming, because she understands, and it will be fine.

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