Monday, January 29, 2007

Sorry to Offend, I'm angry...

For the record, this is not directed at Seth. He has chosen the right path in life, and therefore may live.

Sometimes I don't understand why people are created...Honestly, if we buy into this whole evolution theory, which I do, it doesn't really make any sense. For starters, if we believe that we are put on earth to survive and reproduce, the general purpose that evolution strives for, then gay people should probably die out. Especially the ones who make it impossible for other people to survive. Say there is a gay man who treats a straight woman like a piece of shit, there is no way for her to find someone to reproduce with and she will probably be so upset that she will no longer want to survive. Some will say that people born with low levels of dopamine and serotonin are just nature's way of saying "you are not worthy of living." Well, that may be.

A lesbian is able to reproduce and keep the lineage going, therefore, lesbians are ok. I have no qualms with them. And if a gay man is going to give his seed to procreate, then he can stay. But if he is going to get his partner to do it, then...hmm no. That is stupid.

Anyway, I have to go to dinner now. Stay healthy so I may one day reproduce...Yeah. WOO FOR EVOLUTION!!!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

how many times can i say fuck in one sentence

So I guess it's been awhile.

I am still not happy. I hope people who actually know me don't read this.

The only way I can take care of my intense pain is to cause physical pain to myself. Yeah it helps, until I have to look at the little marks on my body that tell me what I just did. I am apparently very good at keeping up a front because no one here has said anything to me. BUT, I don't know if its because they really don't know, or if they know I don't like to talk about it. I don't want to cry in front of any more of my friends unless it is well worth it. And this is not.

One of my friends just joined a sorority. And although I'm really happy for her, I can't help but feel that I won't be spending as much time with her any more, and she'll just drift away like almost everyone else.

And now the fucking people next fucking door are fucking playing loud as fuck music that I don't want to fucking hear. But I have no fucking choice because there is fucking nothing I can fucking do about it. They will probably fucking play it until fucking 2 in the fucking morning. And by that fucking time, I will have probably fucking killed myself cause I can't fucking handle this anymore. The fuckers on the other side of my room have stolen a fucking couch and have fucking threatened to fucking harm people if they tell the housing people. I think I will just fucking do it, since I could care fucking less if they do it.

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED AND FRUSTRATED THAT I AM PROBABLY GOING TO DO SOMETHING I WILL REGRET!!!!!!!!!!

And, I invited Molly to my house for Spring Break, so she can save money and so I won't have to drive back by myself, mainly cause I am afraid to. However, I kinda just want to chill in Conneautville. I need to be with someone who doesn't remind me about how much I hate Knox. But I will be ok with her coming, because she understands, and it will be fine.