Thursday, October 05, 2006

Meet Sally

Um, let's see. I have this friend, we'll call her Sally. Sally wants to kill herself. But Sally has a friend, we'll call her Rita. Rita said that if Sally were to kill herself, everyone would be really sad and pissed and they would all miss her a lot. And even though Sally believes some of this, she can't bring it upon herself to believe that "everyone" will miss her. There are some people who act like they could care less if Sally were dead; she thinks that no one in this world cares about her. Another friend, Rick, told her she should just believe that there are people who care about her and that she needs to learn to care about herself. Sally has no idea how to do this. Sally has no idea how she will make it through the next couple years of college because she hates it. She isn't doing too well in the majority of her classes. Things keep going wrong. Rick also told her to stop focusing on the negative, but when she looks around she doesn't see anything positive. Her mother might get a better job, and this would mean free tickets to Disney every year...ok, there's a positive. Sally could take Rita and her daughter there and they could have fun...But that is only a maybe, not a definite happy.

Also, Rick has announced he doesn't really want to be friends with Sally anymore. Sally doesn't know why, but she knows she must've fucked up this friendship somehow...She always does.

She turns to alcohol a lot more than she should to seek "therapy." Since it makes her fall asleep, she likes it. "You can't get hurt when you're sleeping," she always says. Sally likes to cut herself with a Bic razor she tore apart. She told me that seeing the blood makes her feel calmer and more in control of her life. She has carved words into her thighs, or just made designs. She has no self confidence, she thinks she is fat and gross and will never find anyone to love her. This is why Sally thinks there is no reason to live. Sally likes to tell me that she will never kill herself because she is too scared, that cutting is as far as it will go...but something in my head tells me that she's lying.

I don't know how to help Sally. Any suggestions are welcome. She can't see a doctor because she has no medical insurance and she has no money.

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