Sunday, October 29, 2006

Crying...

I'm really sick of hearing the countdown until Robbie transfers. I couldn't even enjoy TKE tonight, because he kept telling people he was leaving. I feel like I will be losing my best friend, because even though he doesn't think it, I know we will drift. It always happens. Also, even though people are mad at Aaryn, I want to be her friend still. But I feel uncomfortable around people who don't like her because I still like her. I enjoy doing things with her. I want to be her friend.

I'm sick of crying. I wish I could just stop being chicken shit and talk to Robbie. You know, actually say something when he asks what's wrong, instead of staring at my shoe trying not to cry. I don't even want to lie either...but everytime, out of habit, I say that I'm fine. Everything's ok. He's not retarded, he can clearly see that I'm lying. A blind person could tell. I want to just say "Hey, I want to talk to you. And I'm going to do everything in my power to actually answer your questions." But I'm too afraid to. So if you read this, you should say something to me. Cause unless prompted by you, I will just keep everything I want to say to you about my comment about you transferring (you know, from drawing) bottled up.

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