Tuesday, June 06, 2006

boo, PA

Ok, so how is life going for me since I arrived home? Let me tell you.

Things started out ok. My birthday present from my dad was a laptop. Not in my possession yet, but still, we bought it. Got some books from Rae. WOOO!!! BOOKS!! They don't fit on my shelf, so I have to do some rearranging. Amanda had a graduation party, that was fun. Um, been to Perkins a couple times. Got to talk to a couple friends online so far. Some more than others. Went to a baseball game of the cousins', saw the family for the first time with dyed hair...a little scary, but wasn't thrown out of any wills. Yet. Oooh, and its not 100% humidity and 97 degrees in PA, as it was in Illinois.

Ok, that pretty much ends the ok stuff. Let's move on to why I have had a stress headache for three days. My mom was visiting last week. I know how to drive. I don't need to be told what I'm doing wrong, mainly because I wasn't doing anything wrong. Also, I was a little frustrated because she would use my car and I couldn't, but that was my fault because I told her she could. Also, she couldn't afford a hotel room, so she slept on my floor. Then, I go visit Kristi and when I get home, my mom borrows car and the brakes stop working. That leaves me sitting in my room all day wishing I could go apply somewhere to work this summer so I don't kill myself from boredom and lack of money. Since we have dial-up, I can only get online after like 6 pm (est). Hardly anyone is online when I am, which leaves me sitting here even more bored than usual. If someone does get on, its usually right before I'm about to pass out from exhaustion or leave to go to Perkins, so we can't really chat long.

I have never actually missed someone when I was home for a break. And I REALLY REALLY miss people now. I was uploading pictures from my camera and was like "Oh, I really want fall term to come." I want to watch "movies" with Robbie & Molly. I want to go to TKE. I want to get a little tipsy and listen to rap music with Morgan. I want to be trashed at Steak 'n' Shake. *I don't want Seth or Aaryn to feel left out. We have fun at Perkins now.* I want everything to be ok between my friends, or at least stop "fighting" even if they never want to see each other again. And I want to be not caught in the middle of things which I have no part in. Come on guys, let's just all get along.

I have been so tempted to just get in my car and drive back to Knox because I actually hate being back in PA. There is nothing for me here. Aaryn and Seth will be back there soon enough. Robbie and Molly aren't even there, so its not like I'm going just to watch porn with them. I just really don't want to be in PA anymore. I live in a shitty town, I can't even walk somewhere since my car is broken. If I at least lived in Meadville, I could go somewhere. My laptop doesn't ship for another 6 days, I can probably last until it gets here. But there are no places hiring, so I don't even know how I'm going to make any money.

And to top it off, the other day I found a scale. It has been my philosophy to not use them cause they will just make me want to find $9000 for a breast reduction, but I stupidly stepped upon it. After revealing the truth, I have become depressed and am practically starving myself so the truth will not be so devastating in the future. My breasts are bigger - GAH!!!, I didn't think it was possible - and I wish the food at Knox was terrible like Gannon's. I lost 15 pounds there from lack of nutrition. So, whenever I get the urge to eat, I drink a glass of water. You're supposed to get 8 8oz glasses, but I think I get like 20. Probably not the best method to lose weight, you know, treating myself like an Ethiopian, but if it works. Sometimes I eat a piece of cheese or two, but I try not to eat a lot. This way I can eat a good amount around my father and he will not get suspicious of my new eating disorder. I don't recommend drinking that much water, it makes you pee a lot.

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