Thursday, May 25, 2006

partially healed...

ok, so i shouldn't blog in the non-private blog about things that happened when i'm drunk...right, note to self, remember that.

i am a shitty friend because i have been listening to the wrong people.

nothing that happened on saturday was good times for anyone. and i kinda wish we could get do-overs, cause my birthday would be one of those days.

today, i did something i have never done. i confronted someone because i wanted to. i am not the kind of person who goes up to someone, catches them off guard, and speaks my mind. woah, that is totally not me in a nutshell. maybe if i were on some sort of medication...i realize that people don't want to hear how i really feel, but they ask, and i want someone to know cause i think it'll make it better, so i tell them. didn't know i was just pissing people off.

i don't hate anyone in this world except for 2 people. there names are John Allen, and Rose Allen. those are my mom's ex-boyfriend and his mother. he not only caused my parents' divorce, but forced me to change schools, lose several great friends, and in the end, he stole my dog. i do however use the term "hate" very loosely. i guess in my mind i don't think people will take me seriously, but now i know they do. so MORGAN, i want you to know that I never actually hated you. i was mad about several comments, and should've said something to you, but i didn't and i'm sorry. i'm completely over it now because i know you didn't realize you were doing anything, and the other day i realized how much i miss doing stuff with you. i hope that in the few days we have left, we can have some fun and next year will be awesome.

i didn't mean to hurt anyone with my birthday blog...sorry to those of you who were affected by that...

i guess what i do now, is try to get things back to normal, or at least make things not end badly between people. however, i don't want to push people into things they don't want.

i guess i feel better about some things...i'm not completely "healed," but i guess in time, everything will be ok, because that's what the brazilians think.

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