Monday, January 16, 2006

Alcohol & College

I recently passed a sign entitled "College Drinking: Everyone's Not Doing It" and ironically this was posted in a dorm lounge which always has a faint (if not strong) smell of Keystone Light and/or Rum. Now, as I joined in the festivities this past weekend, I managed to learn some things*. Some things that are even more important than mitosis and calculus. I will now share them. *Not all are things that happened to me (4, 7, 8, 9).

1) 2 smirnoff triple blacks + 2 gin and tonics = nausea and possibly vomiting
2) BBQ sauce is bad "morning after" food
3) 2 smirnoff triple blacks + 2 gin and tonics = kareoke, possibly resulting in you singing Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" or Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me"
4) mass amounts of rum may result in: drunk dialing people and professing your love for them
5) or drunk dialing people and discussing how gross bananas are
6) spin the bottle is a bad drunken game because you will kiss anyone/thing
7) you may be reduced to nothing but boxers and feel the need to roll them up as if you are wearing a thong
8) tripping over a coat (?), landing on your ass and laughing so hard you can not get up
9) screaming out the phrase "stop suffocating me!" when you are not actually being touched by any of the other people in your bed

Beware the dangers of alcohol. Especially those fruity ones, where you can't tell you are getting drunk.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Karma Sucks

So, I realized that I have done something resulting in this wonderful karma that leads to me being blessed with fucking shitty roommates. Now, I don't really know what I've done to make this happen, but I would like to now say I'm really sorry and I will never do anything like it again. Honestly.

Becca had sex in my room. Jessica throws her birth control containers away in the garbage, and then refuses to empty it. Even though, 83% of the shit in it is hers.

Becca talked about me behind my back on the phone. Jessica likes to be really obvious about whispering about me in front of me.

Becca was a preppy slut, stuck in the highschool world of cliques. Jessica is the same.

Jessica also likes to go through my stuff, leave the room everytime I come in, ignore Aaryn now that she knows she's my friend, leave her computer on 24/7 with the speakers up all the way, leave her shit all over the room, pretend I don't exist, especially when I'm sleeping, pretend she is superior to me, etc. I met her ex-roommate today. Apparently she wants to live alone because that's what she does. Well then she should've requested a fucking single room. If she thinks she can push me to the extreme where I move out, she is mistaken. She could pee on my bed, and I would resist because I'm not going to be pushed around anymore. Fuck her and her frat boy boyfriend. I hate Jessica Wilson. I do. Fuck her. Bring it on, bitch. Just know that I will not sink to your level and try to expel you without any verbal communication.

Thursday, January 05, 2006 is ok. I have three science classes. Why did I choose biology??? SO STUPID. My room is relatively huge. I have so much space, and my roommate is like never here. She's a little weird. And preppy...vomit. My schedule allows for mass amounts of free time. Everyday. Naps are fun though. The cafeteria food is so much better than Gannon's. This is like a 5 star restaurant compared to Gannon. Hmm, let's see what else could I say? My books SO FAR have come to $321.80. And I still have one class left.

New Years Eve sucked a little. First off, I was one of the three sober people because I had to drive people home. For two reasons really: 1) i have a license & car 2) we were going to aaryn's and her parents are in AA. Not a good idea to show up there drunk. I felt kinda jealous of some of the people there because I really wanted to drink with them, but whatever. Then, we were about to leave and my fingers were slammed in a door, so now they're kinda, you know, broken. Then, as I was crying and attempting to drive back to aaryn's, I realized that I just wanted to go home and fuck everyone/thing else. I couldn't sleep until around 6 am which sucked because I had to get up, finish packing, and drive to Illinois in like two-four hours. It was bad. I almost had a breakdown, but I managed to fall asleep before I could let that happen.

I am now one hour behind what I used to be...that's not really important, just a statement.