Friday, September 30, 2005

Food poisoning?

I think I have food poisoning from Illinois. My ass has been vomiting for days now.

I was reminiscing about my high school days, and I thought about 11th grade lunch and Jenna, the idiot who sat with us for some unknown reason. None of us liked her, but she insisted on eating with us EVERYDAY! The one day she was talking about her grandma and how she would wake her up Sunday mornings to go to church. I quote, “Finally, I learned how to pretend to be sleeping so I wouldn’t have to go.” And Brett was like “I learned how to do that in kindergarten.” Her grandma also used all the hot water in the shower. Lindsey responded with “Well, maybe you’ll get lucky next year and she’ll die.”

Brown bags for lunch - $1
Yogurt and sandwich – $1.50
Can of Soda - $.50
Jenna’s face – priceless

She didn’t sit with us for the rest of the year after that…

I made coffee for the first time this morning…I fucked up because I got a filter out, but didn’t put it in the filter holder because I was getting the coffee and it’s a weird coffee maker. So I opened the lid and poured the grounds in…without the filter. Yeah, I’m an idiot. That led to me washing the damn thing, which took years because when grounds get wet, they stick, and of course the thing was already wet. GAH!! Needless to say, my coffee had a couple grounds in it, but it was good anyways.

My music collection is quite odd. When randomized, the first ten songs are:
1. Distorted Penguins – Sexi Lexi
2. Jay-Z & Linkin’ Park – Points of Authority/99 Problems/One Step Closer
3. Aimee Mann – Humpty Dumpty
4. The Postal Service – Nothing Better
5. Le Tigre – This Island
6. NIN – The Day the World Went Away
7. Martina McBride – Where Would You Be?
8. MFGG – Stand By Your Man
9. Beethoven – Fur Elise
10. Snoop Dogg – Smoke Weed Everyday

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


Ok, so Aaryn told me to be at her house by three cause that's when they were leaving to go to Illinois. No one was there so I sat across the street waiting, with the horrible fear that they left already. Well, Aaryn was mistaken because her mom said 3:30 because she had class until 3. Well, she had to go to the hospital to do something so I sat in the living room with a Zeus watching "Battle of the Network Reality Stars" which was surprisingly interesting. We finally headed out around 5 pm. We had to go to Erie to pick up Aaryn's cousin Sara. So, it was Aaryn's mom, sister Amanda, cousin, Amanda's friend Randy, and me in the car.

It took us around 11 hours to get there. We were going to stay in the first hotel we could find, but there weren't any, so we ended up staying in the one they had reservations in for the next night. We were all so incredibly tired when we got there, because we had been awake the whole time. We got to the room around 4:00 am (their time...they're an hour behind). Along the way we collected random things for Aaryn, such as a happy meal box, the toy, some french fries, and a really shitty tattoo of a clown. The next morning, everyone was still exhausted and took forever to get down to the FREE continental breakfast. Best Western has the shittiest muffins...They were really gross. Anyhow...

Then we went to the school where we met up with Aaryn and Seth and they gave us a tour of the campus in case I would consider it. There are a shitload of squirrels there, and you can walk up to them. The library had a spiral staircase, it was nice. There are a lot of trees there and the landscaper won an award for his work. Uh...then we went to a Steak & Shake for lunch. Amanda got a milkshake poured down her back. They gave me the wrong bread for my sandwich. It was good though. Then we went to see "Corpse Bride" and it was good. We then went back to campus and hung out with their friends, Mike and Sarah at the Gizmo. After that drawn out boring time (hey, i have to be honest), we went to a Chinese Buffet with the BEST green beans I have ever had. Also, there were squids was creepy. Then, we went to see "Flightplan" and Seth and I made fun of the dialogue the whole time. It was good, but it was very easy to make fun of. Then I went back to Aaryn's dorm room and we made popcorn. "The Outer Limits" was on so we watched it and it was totally weird. Seth called us to play DDR with Mike, Sarah, and him in his room. We did for awhile, but it started getting late and we were all really tired so we went back to her room. Since we wanted something to make us sleep we watched "Sleeping Beauty." It was 4 am at the earliest when I fell asleep.

We had to get up at 9 to go to the hotel so Aaryn and Sara could swim for a bit and so we could get the FREE breakfast again. It was much better this time. While they were swimming, the rest of us sat around discussing the Bible, and how we all think it is a bunch of malarkey. This went on for quite some time...which is weird. Then, we went to Pizza Hut for lunch where we played Buzz Word. Then it was time to take Aaryn back to the dorm and head home. We said good-bye and got in the car. Since we were only 25 miles from Iowa, we went to Iowa. Then we drove all the way back to Meadville...It rained all the way across Ohio, and I don't know if you (the reader) has ever done that, but it takes FOREVER!! We got back around 4 am.

That was it. I slept about 11 hours from 8 am Friday to 5 am Monday. Um...


Words I Won't Say

So, I'm back from Illinois, but I don't feel like writing about my trip tonight, so I'm not going to yet.

I was sitting around thinking about me, when I was like, "Woah, there are certain words I don't like to say." This is them with alternatives that are ok.

vagina - cunt, pussy, girly part, down there
nigger - nigga (as in a song), or if it is in a song (this is just an offensive word...come on people)
boob - breast (and all variations of breast, ie. breasticles)

However, penis, cock, and all terms for the male sex organ are perfectly fine with me.

To change the subject completely...I finally have chips. This only means anything if you read the other post about me wanting some. I'm currently downloading music, because I have an obsession with that. It has been raining for about 24 hours now. It's kinda chilly outside. I had to wear a sweater when I went to the grocery store. I'm thinking about starting another writing project, but I'm not sure if it will be a short story or a "novel." I think I have a better chance with short story, since I'll never finish a novel for the simple reason that I can't. My eyes hurt a lot from staring at this screen because it is bright. Also, I'm really tired, but that comes into play in the trip post, so it doesn't matter now.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Fleegan Flugan

So, today was um, how do I put this...Really Fucking Boring. I sat around in my room with a headache playing Pass the Pigs. Then, I we got subs (hoagies for those of you who don't say subs), and I got stale bread. Other than that, it was ok. Then, I went to Norma's to play Scrabble; she won.

Apparently I'm going to become a homeless person on the streets of NY, because I took a semester off of school to find a school that I really like. Fine with me. I'll never have to pack my things when I move, and I'll never have to go grocery shopping again. Plus, with the lack of nutritional food, I'll be able to get that slim waist I've always wanted.

I was recently compared to a bad horror novel because I said, "I can't get gas without losing an appendage. Not in this town."

I really want some chips. Oh, if only I had some chips. Am I pregnant because I'm having stange cravings??? No, I'm not. Too bad it is storming like KRAZZZY outside. If it weren't, I would go get some.

A friend told me I should be a creative writing or journalism major because I'm "very talented." I considered that at one time, but the problem is, I have to be inspired to write. If I have deadlines, it'll suck. If I just wake up one night and sit at the keyboard...magic happens. That reminds me of a song. "Do you believe in magic, In a young girl's heart? do do do..." That's all I know. But seriously folks...

I'm going to reveal something. I am a closet Spongebob Squarepants fan. I LOVE IT!! Even reruns...It's possibly one of the stupidest shows ever created, but I love watching it. I guess it's not in the closet anymore. Almost like I came out of the closet...(ba dum ching! (bad pun drum thing)) Anyway...

JOKE TIME: What do giraffes have that no other animal has? Giraffe babies...yeah not funny I know, but I didn't say it would be a good joke.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The Next Day...

Ok so last night I was totally depressed and in a whiny sort of mood. I sat on a bench at a park for like an hour crying. It was bad. However, today I am in a super good mood. I called my friend and left a weird drawn out message on her answering machine; it was so long, I got cut off.

I went to the doctor today and sat in the waiting room for freaking ever. First off, I am annoyingly always on time, or a few minutes early. Today I get there around 1:38 for a 1:45 appointment. Somewhere around 2:20, I go to the receptionist and ask what in hell is going on. "Oh, he has a lot of patients today."
"Oh, silly me. I thought that when an appointment that I didn't want, but was forced into by your staff, is scheduled, the doctor actually has time to see me. Next time, I will just come in 45 minutes late and you probably won't even notice." So I sit back down. Around 2:35, I finally get called back and sit there for like five minutes. Then the doctor comes in and is like "So, you are you feeling today? Good? That's good. Are your pills giving you any trouble? No? Excellent. Come back in January. Bye."
Did I miss something? I just sat out there with screaming children and staring elderly people to come back here, be freaked out by the pap smear kit sitting on the counter in front of me, be asked two questions, and then leave? WTF? We could have done that in a phone call and I would have saved the gas I used to get to the office. I also would have saved water, because I wouldn't have had to shower to look not homeless, and I would've been able to sleep until 1:44. I hate that doctor. I honestly don't know where he got his degree. His bedside manner is sickening.

On to good news...I am going to Illinois in two days! Yeah that's right!!! WOO HOO! Another state I can mark off of my "States I've been to" Map. Along with Ohio and New York. Yippe Skippy! I can't wait because I get to see my lovely Aaryn again! Oh god, orgasm. And I will see if I like the school enough to pay $40 to apply, and then take out a loan that I will be paying off til I die, and sell my kidney on ebay just to pay tuition. But, if I enjoy the school sooo much that I orgasm when I hear the word Knox, the kidney removal surgery and scar will be well worth it.

Pee time.

For the record, I really did go to the bathroom after typing that.

Hmm, what else is new since 11:30 last night? Not, I went to the bank today and deposited $97. Yeah, now I have...$97 in my account. I also went to CVS to pick up a refill on my pills. Tomorrow's post will probably be more entertaining, as I will have done something before posting instead of sitting around in my room watching the wind blow.

Oooh! I have a myspace account...with pictures! *GASP* To view it simply click here.
Also, maybe later I will get creative and post something fun! The night is young, especially since I have nothing to do.

What's on Stef's Mind???

So let's take another glimpse into my mind, shall we.

We'll start with what I've been thinking about these last couple of days...
  • Going to college is what is expected of just about every high school graduate, and a must for every one of those that graduated with a 3.7 GPA and A's in several Advanced Placement/College Prep classes. However, what if that is not what I want. I don't like going to college. I don't make friends easily, and I get bored. It's not that I already know everything, I'm far from it, but so far, I haven't had homework. Even with living off campus, I've had nothing to do in my spare time except watch tv and movies...what fun. Living on campus was even harder because I did nothing but talk to my cousin online. Joining clubs doesn't appeal to me because I'm not a social person and the only reason I was in French club in high school was because my friends were in it and the teacher was really awesome. Also, I may have found a school I really like (I haven't visited it yet) but since it is not in PA, I don't know how I will ever be able to afford it. And I have to convince my dad that it's ok for me to go somewhere outside of PA.
  • I bought a "Jason." He is purple, made of gel, and vibrates...All that is needed is a single A battery. And since I have a battery charger, all is well. Shoot, who needs a real penis when you can have a fake one. A real man needs food and clothing and all sorts of things, but a fake penis only costs $7.95.
  • I haven't showered in awhile because I just got over a cold. I was really sick. I also didn't brush my teeth for a couple days. I was sick. I reeked of DayQuil and Nail Polish Remover for like three days. Now I just smell like hamster poo because I cleaned Captain Whiskers' cage today. It was gross. I am not sick anymore, but I don't care enough and I don't go anywhere, so why shower? Also, our lawn is dying...why waste water to clean myself. I did however use deodorant today, and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so what the hell...I'll shower tomorrow morning.
  • I was thinking today about something, and it kinda seems that loving someone is a crime. Just wanting to spend time with that person has turned into a grueling task. When you put all your trust into someone...It just seems that I'm wanting more from people than I can get. However, sometimes I don't see how that is bad. Sometimes all I need is to sit and talk to someone who will listen and be sympathetic but tell me when I'm being too pessimistic. I don't want to be interrupted and I don't want to be asked stupid questions and I don't want to be talked down to like I'm some five year old child. At one point I thought that the only thing in this world that would make me happy was finding the right man: the one who will make passionate love to me after a hard day at work and be my best friend in the world. Now I realize that I DO want someone to be my best friend, but whether it is a male or female doesn't matter. If I go through life never having a relationship, I'll be fine. But if I have to die without ever having someone whose shoulder I could cry on and whose ear will always be available...
  • Why am I not allowed to be angry? I mean I get angry about something and usually I just let it build up inside me and not say anything to people. Everyone tells me that is bad. So, in order to make myself a little more mentally healthy, I decided to change that. Now here's the problem: Someone made me upset, I guess it was a stupid reason, but nonetheless I was upset. When I made it known that I was upset and actually said something about it, all of a sudden I am the bad guy. I'm not allowed to be mad anymore and everything has to change so I'm not upset. When I said to just let it be and not move mountains just so Stef is a little happier, I get things like "Well, I don't want you to be mad." WHY NOT? Why can't I just be upset? It's not like I stab kittens or anything when I'm mad...This in turn just makes me even more irritated than I was before.
  • Self-inflicted pain really turns me on. I seriously enjoy cutting myself; it makes me feel better. Now, I'm not insane. I will also snap rubber bands on myself, pour hot wax on my fingers/hands, and sometimes I punch things such as walls and dressers. Before "Jason" came along I didn't know what getting "hot" felt like, however now I do, and hurting myself does it...Also, if you are a guy and you want someone to have sex with, toss me an email and I'll be there as long as you are willing to literally "tap that ass." That may be a little more information than some of you needed to hear, but hey...this is my blog. For those of you of below average intelligence, literally tapping that ass means I'd like to be spanked.
Well, that is all that is on my mind at this point in time. I'm a fucked up individual, aren't I?