Saturday, August 28, 2004


So, living in a city is hella boring. There is nothing to do unless you have a car. We went to the movies last night and missed all the shows by like ten minutes. We also went to a restaurant and my chicken fingers were burnt. Now I'm broke. I don't know, that's it.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Ass rapings...

Catchy title, huh?

It has been awhile, I know. I was sunning on the beaches of the Outer Banks. It was sooo much fun…I went on a Dolphin watch Tour and it was fun. They were too fast or I would’ve taken good pictures and attempted to post them…I have some but I think they turned out shitty. We basically just swam or played on the beach the whole time. My nose got sun burnt and the tops of my feet, too from standing on the deck of the dolphin boat. One day we went to watch the boats come in with their fish. Some of them were like 4 foot long.

So, I have made the transition into college smoothly…As long as they keep me busy, I won’t get homesick. There was a “Freshman Graffiti Party” where you do nothing except walk around and have people sign your shirt. It was a lot more fun than sitting around doing nothing all night. Dominic requested “Can’t Touch This” and they didn’t even play it til much later in the evening. They had drawings for gift certificates and pizza. Bret won a pizza and my roommate, Rebecca won a $100 gift certificate for the bookstore. Rebecca and I went next door to watch Zoolander, but damn freshman hours sent us back over.

On the way to move in, I saw Dave’s new “house.” OK, so it’s not really a house, it’s more of a shitty little trailer…but whatever works. He’s going to visit his bro in Texas sometime soon for like two weeks. I’m happy for him. I think it has been awhile since they saw each other. Yeah so he lives in a trailer but people live below him…Katherine and I decided that they must live in a 3 foot crawl space.

Another reason it has been awhile is because I had to install Gannon’s anti-virus software, which is Norton, which is a synonym for Shitty Software. It totally fucked up my computer and I had to have some guy come in and system restore it through some magical way. That added a day on to the waiting…plus they’re slow down in the ITS room.

I guess you could say that I have some friends. My roommate and I get along pretty well. And when she introduces me and the others, she says, “These are my friends…” It’s cool. I wanted to hate it so I could go home, but I can’t.

I want to talk to Melissa so badly, but I’ve been waiting for internet…GAH!!! The girls down the hall are talking about the John Mayer concert they went to. People were throwing their bras and shirts on stage.

Thursday, August 12, 2004


Today I am so tired. I was up all night formatting disks for college. I finally went to bed at 2 am. Around 3:45 am I awoke because I was getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. Then I woke up at 7 am again because I was suppose to go shopping with my mom around 9. I finally rolled out of bed around 8:45. The fucking road crew started at 8 so I had to listen to that shit all morning. My arm hurt like hell from the shots I got, and I couldn't move it very much.

My mom finally came at like 8:47. I had to rush to get dressed and I had to eat my breakfast in the car. Then, since they were paving the road, we had to go around the block, which is a huge block and took us like 30 minutes out of our way. We made it to the bank after what seemed like hours. I finally made it to the store. I needed to buy underwear so I did. I also had to buy laundry supplies and I did.

When I got home, I had to go get Aaryn so we could hang out on this my last day in Meadville. We watched Practical Magic. I really like that movie. Then I took her home and by that time I was so exhausted, I practically slept through Rocko's Modern Life. I was awake for Any Day Now, though, cause there's no way I could sleep through that.

When I finally had the chance to sleep, Kristi came by to take my out to dinner since I was leaving. I've only seen her three times this whole summer and she used to basically live with me. I guess that has something to do with her drunk ass boyfriend and the fact that she is 8 months pregnant. We went to Chinese and then to some other stores so she could look at baby shit. What fun...

Now I am home and I want to sleep but I have to pack tons o' shit for my vacation that starts tomorrow. I also have to pack everything for college by tomorrow...Oooh!! More fun...

Wednesday, August 11, 2004


I'm wearing new pants right now. They're too long and too big around. But not big enough around to get a smaller size. I hate that.

I went to the doctor today for my college physical. I had to get 2 shots today. Tetanus and meningitis. The doctor is like retarded. He was like "petsathome?" Like it was one word and I just looked at him and after a few seconds of decoding, I said no. Then he was like, "Since you're 18 you should probably get a papsmear and cervical scrape." Hmm. Nothing is more thrilling then thinking about having that done. After he left, I told my mom, "Oooh. Let's schedule that for tomorrow, cause I can't wait to have my scrape done. He also told me I could "drop a few pounds" and that it would help with my mild scoliosis that I found out I had today. The first thing that came to my mind was, "OK. I'll take that advice from you since you're so svelt." Yeah, he was like twice my size.

My arm hurts like hell. The one that was suppose to hurt doesn't and the one that wasn't suppose to does. I have to stop writing becuase my left wrist is getting sore and I don't know if its from the shot or not.

Another Dream...

This is from awhile ago...let me explain some things. Mrs. Farkas was my French teacher 9-11 grade and she lives around the corner from me. Cheri Oteri is my favorite cast member on SNL. Blooming Valley is the small town where I live. Melissa's car is a shitty little toyota tercel with about 1000000000 miles on it. I don't really know, but its bad. Soloman Haas is some kid from my school. Baker's is a grocery store that my g-ma used to own.

Melissa and I were in Blooming Valley with her car and there was a field behind the Farkas' house. We were like “How fast can this car go; let's check in this field.”

So, we're done and she has to push it back to the road. Instead of going with her, I walk down someone's sidewalk. I see a man running like holy hell and he drops his wallet. I pick it up. There's no I.D. and a lot of cash so I take it back to my work place, Baker's.

The wallet was strange - it was huge and had pictures of peoples’ heads on the front.

I turn to my boss and was like "Do you know who's this is? I'm gonna call the cops."

She was like "No. You really don't know whose this is? It belongs to (I don't remember his name), the gangster."

I was like “Wow, so what do I do?”

Well, later that evening, there's a show in Baker's and a party in the house part so we're all partying. The strange thing is that not only friends, but Maplewood and Meadville people were there. Cheri Oteri was my boss. Well, everything's cool until the gangster pops in carrying a picnic basket and says, “Make me a tomato sandwich and give me the wallet and I won’t kill you.”

So I'm standing there at a counter with two pieces of bread. I open the fridge and I asked him if he wanted mayonnaise, ranch, Italian, or what. Then, all the people come into the room and he starts slaughtering people. He only uses knives and scissors. And he makes sure I see all of the people die.

Well, there is blood everywhere and I’m somehow out of the room and when I come back, Melissa is lying on the floor still alive. In fact she's the only one left. So I’m like "Stay there. He'll kill you if you move." I go back to the counter and I’m like, “Do you want ham too.” He says yes and I start piling stuff on it. Then, he hands me a tomato, and says he only likes fresh ones so he brought his own. I don't have a knife on me so I need to get into the drawer he's standing in front of.

A little girl, perhaps 9, comes out and stupid me. I put her in front of my face so he doesn't kill me. He stabbed her in the back and she just hangs there from his knife until he throws her on the pile of other people. Solomon Haas reaches up and stabs him in the leg but he gets killed too.

Then, I kinda wake up, but, when I fell asleep later:

I see him fall from a gun shot in the side and Melissa jumped up from the couch she somehow got on and gives me one of those horror movie survival hugs.

Weird Ass Dream

So, you already know that I couldn't sleep last night from my previous post. I had a weird ass dream. It's kinda hard to remember everything about it, becuase sometimes I just can't remember them. But here goes...what I remember:

I'm a boy andI'm at some sort of thing where you need to solve brain teasers to move into the next room. If you don't, then you get thrown into another room that is wrong and you have to go back to go forward. Well, my male friend and I were the only ones smart enough to make it to the end, but the owner of the place didn't want anyone to make it through. We were outside walking past a merry-go-round when we heard a voice yell, "Hey! You were supposed to die in the sand!!" We look and see these guys chasing us. Well, we see two pretty women sitting on a ledge and my buddy wants to stop and say hello. It turns out they are Farrah Fawcet(sp?) and Jacklyn Smith. (yes, Charlie's Angels) Smith says, "We've got to stop him!" I morph back into female me and I'm like, "I'll be Sabrina. No one knows who she is anyway!" We start running along the cement sidewalk and it starts turning into sand. It all comes together. We solved the puzzle and the owner was suppose to launch us into quicksand but it malfunctioned and we made it through. Well, to escape the quicksand, we jump onto a wall of movies - like you would see at Blockbuster. I find a movie called something like "Hitler's Untold Method: Quicksand." I hold it up and say, "It's Hitler!!!" Everything stops. The sand stops coming and the people no longer try to kill us "angels." When everything is over, we three angels are hanging out with Bosley when my male friend comes back up to me with another male. They won't give me high fives for saving them because I'm a girl now.

Then I woke up. What the hell?

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

This was added to throughout my day...

Yes! I have made it through another month without getting pregnant!!! So, last night was super hellish. I slept for about 15 minutes. I kept tossing and turning all night. My cramps were so bad that I couldn’t sleep. I wish I could’ve died. In fact, they’re so bad right now that I wish I could die. I finally rolled out of bed at 10:30 this morning. Lord, I was so tired and still am. I wish there were no such things as cramps. They are the worst thing in the world. Pain killers suck a lot. They don’t seem to do shit.

Later on…

So, I went to my Aunt's & Uncle’s today to show them some pictures from my trip to Germany. That was the most fun thing I’ve done in a while. A lot of my other relatives were there. We had lunch together and found coupons for our trip to the Outer Banks. We didn’t really do anything else. I sat around all day, which is nothing new, but at least I didn’t do that at my house.

So, my favorite show in the entire world had its series finale shown the other day and now it has started over. I love this show: Any Day Now. It’s the best thing ever to come off of Lifetime. It's over now...I cried. Yeah, I know. More of that emo loser syndrome.

We went shopping today and I bought a pair of jeans. Why in hell are they so expensive? K-Mart is the only place I can go where they don't suck. Also, they're relatively cheaper there. Good lord there is nothing to do around my house. Seriously, the ripaway crust pizza we got today was the most exciting thing to happen.



Could it be? Is it possible that I am bored once again?

I'm watching Green Acres and I must say, this is an exceptionally good episode. Dear Eva, I love you. I wish you weren't dead because I would come chill with you in your awesome house. Love, Stef. PS: You are totally awesome.

So I have nothing to do tonight...something new!!! Yeah, no. Let me tell you about my exciting evening:

I got out of my pajamas around 3 pm to go to a party. While I was there, I got totally smashed and high. It was so cool. In fact the only reason I remember this whole thing is because I'm totally high now. It's awesome!!!! No actually, I remember because I'm super hungover already. That was a few hours ago. Also, my friend told me that I was vomitting all evening due to my drug use. She said it was really awesome when I had sex with those four people. She didn't really say whether they were female or male, but whatever. I had fun nonetheless. I guess...I'm assuming I had fun because I had lots of sex. Awesome!!! In a few hours I plan on getting into my leather thong, mini skirt, and mesh shirt w/bra and partying until 8 am tomorrow. Yes!!! That is what I call a great time.

So if I could be anyone in the world, I think that I would be...Julie Carson. Now, I don't really know who that is but I'm sure there's one out there somewhere. She's just a regular person, you know, has a rich lawyer/plastic surgeon husband and shit. She has an in ground pool and a cocker spaniel. Maybe even a chihuahua. No kids, cause that's painful and I don't go for that sorta thing. No thanks. Anyway...

I think that I'm gonna grab a sprite, sit back, and watch some Whose Line Is It Anyway?

If you believe the stuff in red, then you obviously did not read the part of my profile thing that says that I may write about things I don't do. Get a life!

Monday, August 09, 2004


Ok, so it’s been a few days since I updated. I was preoccupied with the loss of my best friend. She didn’t die, she moved: across the country. It was so sad. I left her apartment and I got about a mile away and waterworks. I am gonna she her at Christmas, but still. “Melissa, why did you have to go to Florida???”

I have been spending my time with piracy, packing, and cleaning. I need to pack everything I own for College, which starts in two weeks and two days. And I need to pack for my fun filled vacation to the Outer Banks. My room looks like hell since everything is just thrown around and shit. My dad is moving his office into it when I leave so it has to be halfway decent.

My roommate called me the other night, but we couldn’t talk because there was a bat in my house and we were trying to get it out. We finally did, like an hour later. I hope she doesn’t hate me because of the way I was on the phone. I did apologize later in an email explaining everything. It was weird having her call. She spelled my name wrong in the email, but that’s ok cause I’ll fix her of that later. I hate it. It’s only been 18 years; you’d think people would be able to see that my name is spelled with an “f” and not a “ph.” Especially when it’s right in front of them. Seriously, when I write “Hi, I’m Stefanie, your roommate,” is it really that hard to see that f? I don’t think so. But it’s ok for now.

I don’t really know what to write about. Nothing has happened. I lost my physical form for school and if I don’t find it, I can’t go to college. Great. I told my mother, “Don’t give it to me, I’ll lose it.” So what does she do? She gives it to me and I lose it. I can’t even get another one, since my physical is in two days.

I went to another graduation party on Saturday. It was kinda boring. Katherine and I left to get ice cream from McDonald’s. It was good and only $1.06. I am very happy with that since I had about $2 in my wallet. She says I have the softest skin she’s ever felt. She sat there feeling my face all evening. It was weird, but I don’t care. There was this other girl there, Jera, what a bitch she is. I’ve hated her for like 3 years. She is so annoying and bitchy. Unfortunately, she’s “dating” my friend. I hope she doesn’t end up hanging around my campus because he’s going there too. I wanted to push her in the pull and drown her. I really can not stand her. She was always trying to steal Melissa’s boyfriend and have sex with him. To quote Rae, “id like nothing more than for her to be gang raped by a bunch of black transvestite aids patients.” Oh wait, she’d probably like it since she’s into sex a lot.


Thursday, August 05, 2004

I dunno what to title this

Ok. What the hell was up with me last night? I can't believe I wrote about birth control and the Cosby show for Christ's sake.

I'm downloading a CD right now.

I was reading a magazine about going off to college and realized, I'm going to fail. I'm never going to sleep and I'm going to have no social life. I guess as the move-in day draws nearer, I'm getting a little excited. Plus, my friend said we can hang out on the weekends sometimes.

I checked my college e-mail the other day and had about 12 death notices and another today. What the hell? Nothing informative or anything, but death notices about people I don't know.

Today I had lasagna. It was really good. I wish we had eggs because that's what I wanted for breakfast. I went through this folder of shit from college and realized that nothing was important aside from my schedule.

I did laundry today. Three loads to be exact, but one was only a comforter and a sock that I missed in the first two loads.

My dad and I went to a parade today to see my cousin twirl baton. It was fun and I got a Dum Dum. It's a Mystery flavor, but unfortunately, it's grape.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Bored Once Again

It's been a whole 20 minutes since I last posted, but I don't really care.

When you have nothing to do but sit on your computer at 12:57 pm and watch The Cosby Show, this is what happens. You blog pointless shit.

I wish I was under 18 for like one more day so I could get free birth control. And it's not that I don't want to get pregnant, cause trust me, that's not a concern right now. But I don't want my cramps to be so bad. Sometimes I have to lie down on the bed with a heating pad and cry because I'm in so much pain. Plus, if I ever do find someone to have sex with, I'll be ok. Hopefully that'll be soon.

My computer is making weird noises at me. Hmmm...Maybe because it sucks ass? I'm not sure though. It just stopped. It'll probably blow up in a few seconds. The quiet before the storm...

I hate the character of Olivia on The Cosby Show. Seriously, why didn't they just cancel it. I do like Sondra though. She, Claire, and Pam's friend are my favorites. I don't know why they had cousin Pam on the show either. She sucks. Actually, I like this episode. It's the one where Vanessa goes to a party and gets drunk from playing the alphabet game. I like the name Olivia though. And Annie. And Emily.

It is completely silent in my room right now aside from me typing. There was nothing going on on the show...Now there is so it's not quiet anymore.

If you can't tell, I am super tired and writing random things that come into my head. Maybe I will be able to sleep.

I Need To Bitch

I am having insanely excrutiating pain in my lower abdomen and can not sleep, so what the hell? I'll blog.

I need some sleeping pills or something. This is crazy. I haven't fallen asleep pre-1 am in weeks. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

I wanted to buy a handbag and found one that I really really liked about two minutes ago on some site. It was only $5. Awesome!!! But, there is a minimum of a $150 purchase and if you don't reach it, there is a $15 fee. So much for that...The total came to $30 after shipping/handling/fee. How shittay. I still want one though. Maybe I will go to the shoe store and get one there. They're on sale. Melissa got one, so why not. I bought the most comfy shoes in the world there the other day for only $19.95. I love them so much, only thing is, you can only wear them with certain clothes. So I've been wearing jeans in the 90 degree weather so I can wear them. Or I'll throw on a skirt.

I just killed a fly on my monitor. How gross. I had to spit on a tissue and clean it along with my hand on account of that is what I killed it with.

I'm watching All in the Family. I have nothing else to do but watch "classic TV" on TV Land. I'm so glad we have this channel. If I couldn't watch Green Acres, I don't know what I'd do. Yes I do. I'd watch them on the DVD of season one I got for my birthday. Yes. I am a loser. I have weird-ass DVDs and I don't care.

1. Find $6000 in the next...About 5 days.
2. Get approx. $9000 for a breast reduction.
3. Find some way to stop the insanely excrutiating pain in my lower abdomen.
4. Get some sleeping pills.
5. Pack everything I own into boxes to move. I have a week for that one.
6. Make my friend a CD by Thursday aka tomorrow. Because she's moving on Saturday.
7. Find money to pay the doctor for the shot I am receiving to go to the shitty college I no longer wish to attend.
I guess that's all for now. I'm sure more will come up.

So my eyes are burning from staring at the screen but I'm not tired.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Another Shitty Evening

I discovered yesterday as I was looking at my updated tuition bill that I got nothing, not one cent, from FAFSA. My school, that I didn't know I was accepted to yet, has a deadline one month before the FAFSA deadline. But, I filed the damn thing in April and I never got my PIN to sign it until almost a month later - after the school's deadline. WTF!!! It even said Family Contribution: $175. That's great, but my bill is for $6000. So now, I desperately need money fast. We think we can get it down to $622 with a deferment. I even tried to become a surrogate mother for my friend, but they don't have enough money to pay me.

On a lighter note, I am eating some scrumptious Fettuccine Alfredo with Chicken and Broccoli. MMMMMMM!!! the chicken sucks, kinda taste like...i dunno, dirt

I can't wait for next Friday. Even though it is the 13th. Well, actually I can't wait for the 14th. That's when the party starts!! I'm hittin' the beach and staying in a very nice condo. Eventhough I'll be with my family, I'll think I'll have a super good time. I have to pack. I don't want to. I'm sick of packing things. It sucks. I need to know who my roommate is so I know what to pack. I hope she is like, "I am super rich, but not snotty, and I will buy a refrigerator for us. I enjoy watching the same movies as you! We are going to be great friends. And you can come visit my condo in the Florida Keys sometime." Yeah, like that'll ever happen...

Melissa leaves on Saturday and it's Tuesday. NO!!!!! I don't want her to go. Maybe I will transfer to a college in South Carolina so I'll be closer and I won't have to hate the school I'm going to. I already do and haven't started yet. Hopefully it will be better when I get there. I hope I find some people like her. Then I will not be lonely.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Horrible Evening

We were suppose to get Aaryn from work at 6:30 so I rushed to Melissa's house. The movie started at 7:50. We pull into the parking lot at 6:32 and she's not there. OK, maybe she's just closing up. We'll give her ten minutes. At 7:05 we leave the parking lot without her to get gas. We get back and she's still not out there. It's now 7:10 and we have 40 minutes til the movie starts. It take 45 minutes to get to the theater. Finally she calls us and says "I'll be right out." She gets in the car at 7:15 and we speed off to the theater. Going approxiamately 20 mph over the speed limit of 65, we make it in time. The previews had started, but who cares about those. Every movie previewed looked stupid anyway.

The movie sucked total ass. It was boring and not very scary for a horror movie. When we get back into our own town, Aaryn asks Melissa for some of the movies she borrowed back. Well, they live pretty far apart, so M's just like "I'll get them to you next time I come to Dave's house." (Dave is her boyfriend.) Not liking this answer, she asks me, "Well can you drop them off tomorrow on your way home?" Me: "I'm not staying at Melissa's tonight. I'm getting my car and going home." Her: "Well can you drop them off tonight?" (Remember, this was after the two hour movie and the 45 minute drive home, so it's late.) Me: "I'm not going into the apartment, just getting my car and leaving." Her: "Fine, I'll get them later." Then she gets out at her house.

As soon as she slams the door shut, we talk. "Why does she need them right now? Like 12 more hours is gonna kill her. She's not gonna watch them tonight anyway." "Her mom said I could keep them as long as I needed."

We get to her house, and I really was gonna just leave but we were all hungry because none of us ate dinner in the rush to pick Aaryn up from work. So I ate a sandwich and watched "The Assitant."

I drive home and get to my front door. There are bugs/moths covering it and of course, I get attacked. There are no lights on in the house so I have to feel around for a switch.'s not the right one. Then I stumble through my pitch black house, trying not to wake my dad, to my room. Once there, I realize that the light was switched off and I have to basically crawl across my floor so I don't die to get to the fan to turn on the light. Now I'm sitting at my computer doing absolutely nothing because I can't sleep.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

It's Been Awhile

So, it has been forever since I last posted. I guess I've been kinda busy. I've been buying stuff for my dorm room and stuff. I also started making a present for my friend who is leaving in a week for Florida. I'm gonna miss her so much :( But anyway. I bought textbooks today. I spent $345.95. Good lord, that was almost half of my entire bank account. I might as well just close out the account and hand them the money. I also have to buy a Bible, but I think I'll use the one I have since I'll be saving $10. The church gave me one with my name on it and it's really nice.

I went to Brittney's graduation party today. I had fun but I found out she's moving in November. Why??? I hate this part in my life. All my friends are going their separate ways. I hope I can keep in touch with some of them. I would really hate to lose all my friends. I know I'll make new ones in college, but still. It's not fair. Her sister is really slutty and annoying. She always plays with her belly button ring and her boyfriend is...well, retarded. I feel bad for Brittney because her family sucks.

So back to me being poor. I want to die. I wish I had money. Maybe I will waste a couple bucks and buy lottery tickets. And then pray that I win.

I decided I'm going to write a movie script and discovered that it's really not that hard to make dialogue, but the stage directions are a whole other story. It's easier for me then a book, because I can write excellent dialogue, but I totally suck at description and other non-dialogue things. I either write too much or not enough; it's never just right. I don't really have a lot figured out, like the title, characters, know. I have one scene done and I read the whole thing out loud to test it. I have four pages in the scene. I also act it out and make notes on my little clipboard as I do it. Then I read through it tons more times to see if I like it. So far, it's good, but I don't know how to get across the way I want things said in writing. I could tell someone, demonstrate it, but not write it.

I have a huge stack of books waiting to be read. But, it's so hot in my house that I never feel like reading. I want to read them very badly, but I can't find time or get comfortable enough to read. I just keep looking at them thinking, I'll read now...and I'll start. Then someone will come over or call and I don't look at the book again for awhile. I think I'll take one or two to NC with me.

I leave in 13 days for The Outer Banks. Then it's off to college. YAY!!! sarcasm I am kinda excited, but not thrilled that I'm leaving my whole family. Everytime I look at the tuition bill, I get a little nauseous. It's so much and it's happening so quickly....I don't want to go...*tear* I think I'll miss my dad the most. Sure, I'll miss everyone...but since I live with my dad, I think it'll be hard for me to say good-bye on move-in day when he drives home and I'm standing in the doorway waving. I'll cry so much and I don't care who sees me. I really don't give a shit. He's been there for me through everything and I don't want to leave him.